tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76790750530070167002024-03-05T21:12:03.835-08:00Lucia's Bloglucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-54273236635168805162018-05-28T00:02:00.000-07:002018-06-04T14:46:45.256-07:00The Power Of Sharing<br />
Since I have written my chapter called the "Power Of Authentic Relating" in a book called "Conscious Love" and taken a course called "Self Expression and Leadership", I have realized there is such Power in Sharing. One of our most basic human needs is connection.<br />
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Sharing my experiences, and listening to other people's experiences has created a closer human bond that has helped me see how similar we really are as human Beings. I have felt like an alien in my body and had a challenging time feeling like I belong here on this planet. Since I am sharing more of myself, I have felt much more connected to my humanity. You know, if you think about it, our lives consist of a series of various conversations throughout time and all life really is, is about sharing.<br />
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I have always had a hard time finding words to verbalize my experience. I am finding it easier and easier to access the words where I can share my experiences with others more authentically. Because I listen from my being, it takes me slowing everything down to really allow the experience of what others are saying to land inside so I can really feel the reality of how life is occurring in their world.<br />
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Sharing something doesn't have to be a big thing. I have often felt that if I don't have something really important to share, I wouldn't share it. I now realize that when I share, something inside me happens. I notice that something integrates in me. If I am emotional, I will often feel less emotional and more connected to myself. In sharing with those I love, if there is a listening with presence and receptivity, I will feel different in my body.. often lighter and a sense of reassurance that I am not alone in my experience. I feel more connected to myself and to others. This gives me a sense of belonging and purpose.<br />
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Something I can share with you now...<br />
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I am excited for my son to come visit in 2 months. He currently lives in Germany with his Dad. Getting the ticket felt like a big thing since I am not so great at focusing on something that has a lot of details. Now I got it.. it is so fun to thinking he will be with me for the month of August. I am grateful for the time I will have with him.<br />
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Explore sharing your experiences with others more.... and see what it feels like for you.lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-60990715510968031382018-05-13T06:54:00.001-07:002018-05-13T06:54:29.076-07:00Experience Lucia<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-11109910983778638312018-05-11T20:17:00.003-07:002018-06-04T14:47:02.905-07:00The Difference Between Attached and Committed<h2>
"I am by nature a dealer in words. Words are the most powerful drug known to Humanity" - R Kipling</h2>
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I have been exploring the distinctions between the world of Attached and the world of Committed When I say world I literally mean what if feels like to be me inside of it as a living experience. Words have such power and each word has a vibration and a whole experience within it. Try it on for yourself. Say a word out loud and see how it feels. You may need some time to develop some sensitivity, since this is a different way of listening which requires more awareness then we usually use.<br />
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I used to think how attachment meant how much I cared about someone or something. Through my exploration and inquiry, I now realize that there is much suffering and expectation connected within the world of attachment. What would it feel like to still be engaged but not attached? Is this what commitment feels like?<br />
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Recently, I was organizing an event, a play afternoon for Adults...and the closer it came to the event date, the more angry and pressure I felt. As I looked, I noticed that I had some attachment to how many people were coming, what I would do with them once they arrived and who was going to do what and so on...<br />
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As soon as I let go and gave up my agenda of how I wanted things to go, I felt more relaxed inside. The pressure left and I felt a spaciousness inside of me where I began to feel some excitement again. It felt mysterious.. and with this feeling, there is a sense of trusting something bigger than me to take over... That my intention for the event it to show up and have fun... and whoever comes will be perfect and we will get to know each other, have authentic conversations and co-create art and music.<br />
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The more unattached I became, the more at peace I felt. Here is a list of the two worlds.<br />
<br />
The W<b>orld of Attached. </b><br />
<br />
Emotional Reaction<br />
Pressure<br />
Fear<br />
Anxious<br />
Selfish<br />
Closed<br />
Results<br />
Blocked<br />
Disappointed<br />
Personal<br />
Disempowered<br />
Obsession<br />
Frustration<br />
Stopped<br />
Determination<br />
Manipulation<br />
Pushy<br />
Embarrassed<br />
Owe Something<br />
Failure<br />
Inadequate<br />
Insistent<br />
Talk to much<br />
Victim<br />
Distant<br />
Ungrateful<br />
Force<br />
Desperation<br />
Drama<br />
Not present<br />
Angry<br />
One side<br />
Confusion<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>The World of Committed </b><br />
Flow<br />
Love<br />
Acceptance<br />
Accountability<br />
Opportunity<br />
Creativity<br />
Playfulness<br />
Open<br />
Organic<br />
Clarity<br />
Ease<br />
Power<br />
Healing<br />
Authentic<br />
Genuine<br />
Connection<br />
Choice<br />
Teamwork<br />
Leadership<br />
Empathy<br />
Community<br />
Compassion<br />
Completion<br />
Communication<br />
Inspiration<br />
Possibility<br />
Unattached<br />
Empowerment<br />
Purpose<br />
Self Expressed<br />
Present<br />
<br />
What world do you live inside of?<br />
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Are you committed or attached?<br />
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Neither of the worlds are wrong... just start noticing how you feel inside and how that effects your relationships and conversations.<br />
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I am committed to Play, Exploration, Self Expression and LOVE!<br />
<br />
ENOY THE JOURNEY! - Lucia xolucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-6460691033924177852018-05-11T17:25:00.000-07:002018-05-11T17:25:11.967-07:00What it Really Means to Hold Space for Someone<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What it Really Means to Hold Space
for Someone<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How to be there for the people
who need you most<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When my Mom was dying, my
siblings and I gathered to be with her in her final days. None of us knew
anything about supporting someone in her transition out of this life into the
next, but we were pretty sure we wanted to keep her at home, so we did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While we supported Mom, we
were, in turn, supported by a gifted palliative care nurse, Ann, who came every
few days to care for Mom and to talk to us about what we could expect in the
coming days. She taught us how to inject Mom with morphine when she became
restless, she offered to do the difficult tasks (like giving Mom a bath), and
she gave us only as much information as we needed about what to do with Mom’s body
after her spirit had passed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
author with her mother</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Take your time,” she said.
“You don’t need to call the funeral home until you’re ready. Gather the people
who will want to say their final farewells. Sit with your mom as long as you
need to. When you’re ready, call and they will come to pick her up.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ann gave us an incredible gift
in those final days. Though it was an excruciating week, we knew that we were
being held by someone who was only a phone call away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the two years since then,
I’ve often thought about Ann and the important role she played in our lives.
She was much more than what can fit in the title of “palliative care nurse”.
She was <i>facilitator, coach, and guide.</i> By offering gentle,
nonjudgmental support and guidance, she helped us walk one of the most
difficult journeys of our lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The work that Ann did can be
defined by a term that’s become common in some of the circles in which I work.
She was </span><a href="http://upliftconnect.com/hold-space-for-woman/"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">holding
space</span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Learning
to hold space for others</span></i></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What does it mean
to “hold space” for someone else?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It means that we are willing
to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging
them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the
outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer
unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sometimes we find
ourselves <i>holding space</i> for people while they <i>hold
space</i> for others. In our situation, for example, Ann was <i>holding
space</i> for us while we <i>held space</i> for Mom. Though I
know nothing about her support system, I suspect that there are others <i>holding
space</i> for Ann as she does this challenging and meaningful work. It’s
virtually impossible to be a strong space holder unless we have others who
will <i>hold space</i> for us. Even the strongest leaders, coaches,
nurses, etc., need to know that there are some people with whom they can be
vulnerable and weak without fear of being judged.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Understanding
the essence of holding space for others</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In my own roles as teacher,
facilitator, coach, mother, wife, and friend, etc., I do my best to <i>hold
space</i> for other people in the same way that Ann modeled it for me and
my siblings. It’s not always easy, because I have a very human tendency to want
to fix people, give them advice, or judge them for not being further along the
path than they are, but I keep trying because I know that it’s important. At
the same time, there are people in my life that I trust to <i>hold space</i> for
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">To truly support people in
their own growth, transformation, grief, etc., we can’t do it by taking their
power away (ie. trying to fix their problems), shaming them (ie. implying that
they should know more than they do), or overwhelming them (ie. giving them more
information than they’re ready for). We have to be prepared to step to the side
so that they can make their own choices, offer them unconditional love and
support, give gentle guidance when it’s needed, and make them feel safe even
when they make mistakes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Holding space is not something
that’s exclusive to facilitators, coaches, or palliative care nurses. It is
something that ALL of us can do for each other – for our partners, children,
friends, neighbours, and even strangers who strike up conversations as we’re
riding the bus to work.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Every
day is an opportunity to hold space for the people around us</span></i></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">8 Tips to Help
You Hold Space for Others<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here are the lessons I’ve
learned from Ann and others who have held space for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1. Give people permission to
trust their own intuition and wisdom.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> When we were supporting
Mom in her final days, we had no experience to rely on, and yet, intuitively,
we knew what was needed. We knew how to carry her shrinking body to the
washroom, we knew how to sit and sing hymns to her, and we knew how to love
her. We even knew when it was time to inject the medication that would help
ease her pain. In a very gentle way, Ann let us know that we didn’t need to do
things according to some arbitrary health care protocol – we simply needed to
trust our intuition and accumulated wisdom from the many years we’d loved Mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">2. Give people only as much
information as they can handle.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Ann gave us some simple
instructions and left us with a few handouts, but did not overwhelm us with far
more than we could process in our tender time of grief. Too much information
would have left us feeling incompetent and unworthy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOkUfwB5xxyqT1l6JCOObjuy-kNtqtdo11_f6Y2NJ75Fl9PC3Pigli3bUfUxMCNGGpOnWb6PTYRQ02stw0W3uPV4KLQlFBG_XIB0Pdg1QUktXWJIK40sZVIdO6St0FgXWoU4q1E9uuUzgm/s1600/5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOkUfwB5xxyqT1l6JCOObjuy-kNtqtdo11_f6Y2NJ75Fl9PC3Pigli3bUfUxMCNGGpOnWb6PTYRQ02stw0W3uPV4KLQlFBG_XIB0Pdg1QUktXWJIK40sZVIdO6St0FgXWoU4q1E9uuUzgm/s400/5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Knowing
how much information to give people in times of grief</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">3. Don’t take their power
away.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> When we take decision-making power out of people’s
hands, we leave them feeling useless and incompetent. There may be some times
when we need to step in and make hard decisions for other people (ie. when
they’re dealing with an addiction and an intervention feels like the only thing
that will save them), but in almost every other case, people need the autonomy
to make their own choices (even our children). Ann knew that we needed to feel
empowered in making decisions on our Mom’s behalf, and so she offered support
but never tried to direct or control us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">4. Keep your own ego out of
it.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> This
is a big one. We all get caught in that trap now and then – when we begin to
believe that someone else’s success is dependent on our intervention, or when
we think that their failure reflects poorly on us, or when we’re convinced that
whatever emotions they choose to unload on us are about us instead of them.
It’s a trap I’ve occasionally found myself slipping into when I teach. I can
become more concerned about my own success (Do the students like me? Do their
marks reflect on my ability to teach? Etc.) than about the success of my
students. But that doesn’t serve anyone – not even me. To truly support their
growth, I need to keep my ego out of it and create the space where they have
the opportunity to grow and learn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ku998ry5k0_SufD7Y6a1KJpczfbDFViQNkGKx8_FHuTyYUY37EcjmsG0R1XyAUib_aAEmaPJDOfUjfhcOmQoJi7Q-gw_r63EjdFilyh7sy4voWZ3KQaSOURswBaFERKLKMvKcXB1Yu05/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ku998ry5k0_SufD7Y6a1KJpczfbDFViQNkGKx8_FHuTyYUY37EcjmsG0R1XyAUib_aAEmaPJDOfUjfhcOmQoJi7Q-gw_r63EjdFilyh7sy4voWZ3KQaSOURswBaFERKLKMvKcXB1Yu05/s400/6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Keep
your own ego out of it</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">5. Make them feel safe enough
to fail.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> When people are learning, growing, or going through
grief or transition, they are bound to make some mistakes along the way. When
we, as their space holders, withhold judgement and shame, we offer them the
opportunity to reach inside themselves to find the courage to take risks and
the resilience to keep going even when they fail. When we let them know that
failure is simply a part of the journey and not the end of the world, they’ll
spend less time beating themselves up for it and more time learning from their
mistakes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">6. Give guidance and help with
humility and thoughtfulness.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> A wise space holder
knows when to withhold guidance (ie. when it makes a person feel foolish and
inadequate) and when to offer it gently (ie. when a person asks for it or is
too lost to know what to ask for). Though Ann did not take our power or
autonomy away, she did offer to come and give Mom baths and do some of the more
challenging parts of caregiving. This was a relief to us, as we had no practice
at it and didn’t want to place Mom in a position that might make her feel shame
(ie. having her children see her naked). This is a careful dance that we all
must do when we hold space for other people. Recognizing the areas in which
they feel most vulnerable and incapable and offering the right kind of help
without shaming them takes practice and humility.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFO_uTYIVLJge91qhsNbhX81GF2l1tShlmgvFvFBi5VFHQFrOBGowThU6_LOwa0VQ-xxOeflf_HEvFUNYexQ54oSMmz6RhoFm38w9TB_kDB0KxDssNyTnBsyEjt0ToUFWvnPoG5oRIW4Ir/s1600/7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFO_uTYIVLJge91qhsNbhX81GF2l1tShlmgvFvFBi5VFHQFrOBGowThU6_LOwa0VQ-xxOeflf_HEvFUNYexQ54oSMmz6RhoFm38w9TB_kDB0KxDssNyTnBsyEjt0ToUFWvnPoG5oRIW4Ir/s400/7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A wise space holder knows when
to withhold guidance and when to offer it gently</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">7. Create a container for
complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> When people feel that
they are held in a deeper way than they are used to, they feel safe enough to
allow complex emotions to surface that might normally remain hidden. Someone
who is practiced at <b><i>holding space</i></b> knows that this can
happen and will be prepared to hold it in a gentle, supportive, and
nonjudgmental way. In </span><a href="http://peerspirit.com/the-circle-way/"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Circle Way</span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">, we
talk about “holding the rim” for people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The circle becomes the space
where people feel safe enough to fall apart without fearing that this will
leave them permanently broken or that they will be shamed by others in the
room. Someone is always there to offer strength and courage. This is not easy
work, and it is work that I continue to learn about as I host increasingly more
challenging conversations. We cannot do it if we are overly emotional
ourselves, if we haven’t done the hard work of looking into our own shadow, or
if we don’t trust the people we are holding space for. In Ann’s case, she did
this by showing up with tenderness, compassion, and confidence. If she had
shown up in a way that didn’t offer us assurance that she could handle
difficult situations or that she was afraid of death, we wouldn’t have been able
to trust her as we did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzrWparjARJrrAvxdqo74BiZ20LLb5tvyozz4ud9HvTr-aL9naJRnaCHzU1kFSerK6Mp_EgnKuX25-fV0fXohIZ6atwOu6rKJoBv-l5MZE5zK4bM7ke5MTN16HmgDOuo0yV9IBWp26NJs1/s1600/8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzrWparjARJrrAvxdqo74BiZ20LLb5tvyozz4ud9HvTr-aL9naJRnaCHzU1kFSerK6Mp_EgnKuX25-fV0fXohIZ6atwOu6rKJoBv-l5MZE5zK4bM7ke5MTN16HmgDOuo0yV9IBWp26NJs1/s400/8.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
circle becomes the space where people feel safe enough to fall apart</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">8. Allow them to make
different decisions and to have different experiences than you would.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Holding
space is about respecting each person’s differences and recognising that those
differences may lead to them making choices that we would not make. Sometimes,
for example, they make choices based on cultural norms that we can’t understand
from within our own experience. When we hold space, we release control and we
honour differences. This showed up, for example, in the way that Ann supported
us in making decisions about what to do with Mom’s body after her spirit was no
longer housed there. If there had been some ritual that we felt we needed to
conduct before releasing her body, we were free to do that in the privacy of
Mom’s home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Holding space</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">is not
something that we can master overnight, or that can be adequately addressed in
a list of tips like the ones I’ve just offered. It’s a complex practice that
evolves as we practice it, and it is unique to each person and each situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What it Really Means to Hold
Space for a Woman</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By </span><a href="http://www.kathrynhogan.ca/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kathryn Hogan</span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> on
Monday January 16th, 2017<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhII1phhfjwH0VFagyjsVx3p6Sa1L2cV5q2ttVljRNmIxZXOTb7eNDXRGJWDfY1SemG__QQF2Lrr0EY437vpWVA_-P-RhgxDhspx7h_x1lDf_05Bz0X-ykZPUgs1kZcTsyVztr6LcIIsiom/s1600/9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="367" data-original-width="700" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhII1phhfjwH0VFagyjsVx3p6Sa1L2cV5q2ttVljRNmIxZXOTb7eNDXRGJWDfY1SemG__QQF2Lrr0EY437vpWVA_-P-RhgxDhspx7h_x1lDf_05Bz0X-ykZPUgs1kZcTsyVztr6LcIIsiom/s400/9.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Four important ways you can
learn to be truly present<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Be authentic.’ ‘Hold space.’
‘Be present.’ These phrases may sound vague, but they’re what the women you
love really need. And here’s how you can give it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I just need you to hold space
for me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This phrase may strike fear into
even the most stoic male heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You can’t <i>hold</i> space!”
you may cry. “It’s space!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But if you want to be with an
emotionally intelligent, spiritually inclined, mindful woman, chances are
you’ll be hearing this type of phrase. It’s becoming more and more mainstream,
and whether or not you consider it New Agey, this phrase describes an
active state of being that is extremely powerful in a relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir42RLR5kbsVIGJMqDeR0LqrFz14LexUVRgCTgdZqtWIxEnH5jvY1nrogldu4rdBKm-geCgSxj7kjtmELaoiB1lSg4seTmOFj7ChM-njalJcgzUYkHq0v-hthO5rOnx2JnT03YiS3TbI9z/s1600/10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="367" data-original-width="700" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir42RLR5kbsVIGJMqDeR0LqrFz14LexUVRgCTgdZqtWIxEnH5jvY1nrogldu4rdBKm-geCgSxj7kjtmELaoiB1lSg4seTmOFj7ChM-njalJcgzUYkHq0v-hthO5rOnx2JnT03YiS3TbI9z/s400/10.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is an active state of being
that is extremely powerful in a relationship.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It may seem like an absurd,
haphazard combination of words that doesn’t actually describe anything. It’s
actually describing one of the mysteries of life, something that cannot be
described. It’s speaking about a more complex—and complete—understanding of
human experience. When a woman says something like this to you, she’s inviting
you to live in the moment in a full, focused, joyful way, with her. She’s
asking for your help, your support. She’s asking you to pay full attention to
her, witnessing her experience, without judging her experience as good or bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When a woman says this, she is
actually asking you to be with her, and to pay attention to her, fully. This is
incredibly important and I can’t stress it enough. </span><a href="http://kathrynhogan.ca/kathryns-books/my-hero-attracting-the-woman-of-your-dreams-by-becoming-the-man-of-hers/"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My
upcoming book</span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> has a whole chapter about how powerful it
is to be truly <i>present</i> with the women you care about. And as
Jordan Gray says, another way to say ‘presence’ is ‘paying attention.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAzohkqKGtX9Sdexq5X2DiT7FYMOj71o86WP5iKSXtCVhePCFnFo8H_IBTXqdF67vVxopbkLNhQCWQi3Yj6pB2QUwKo1AOTkxcfW15gXmUoQWL0ooe3MZeZlfG5t930_SkDNkB8wdtFLDt/s1600/11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAzohkqKGtX9Sdexq5X2DiT7FYMOj71o86WP5iKSXtCVhePCFnFo8H_IBTXqdF67vVxopbkLNhQCWQi3Yj6pB2QUwKo1AOTkxcfW15gXmUoQWL0ooe3MZeZlfG5t930_SkDNkB8wdtFLDt/s400/11.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She is actually asking you to
be with her, and to pay attention to her, fully.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">They say our bodies are 80%
water—but we’re really 99% space!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">To </span><a href="http://upliftconnect.com/hold-space/"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">hold space for another
person</span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">, you have to first do it for yourself. They say our bodies
are 80% water—but we’re really 99% space! So breathe deeply, opening up your
body further. Hold space within yourself first, which means allowing yourself
to simply be. Whatever arises, don’t judge it as good or bad. Witness it, allow
it, accept it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Holding space for another is
to hold space for them, within yourself. This isn’t just foo-foo energy talk:
it’s building a connection with this other person, based in part on
subconscious physical cues. It’s holding the person you’re with in your
awareness, just as he or she is; to witness their emotions with empathy,
whatever they are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Anyone can hold space for
anyone else. However, I feel that there’s an added dimension available when a
man does this for a woman; namely, he is able to be present in his masculine
power, and thus allow her to relax into a more feminine state. My experience is
that holding masculine for myself can be very exhausting, and being with a man
who is willing to step into the masculine fully so that I can ‘drop my guard’
is a huge relief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Holding space is a way to make
your masculine power available for the women around you, for the good of all.
We <i>need</i> your presence, your masculinity, and your power. When
women realize that this is what you’re doing (and yes, you’re allowed to tell
them!) they will relax. Unwind, release tension, melt. They might cry, they
might simply smile, they might snuggle up. However they express it, what they
will really do is show you a part of themselves that few people ever get to see.
It’s beautiful, and it feels great for both of you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here’s a primer on how you can
integrate holding space into your daily life, to improve your relationships
with women, other men, and yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ2ulJXGsUjUszcu45EfsggIruzMopjmdxmsWJKpEyc0bjeJJJbchWg5r-q00a1YesBhpSlNkktxYHgo_LgyhxU92XZxdRFWswByT5T0WSzPpZ-O-SeZSzyi0I-ETjXjRTZuPkvBTAeSbZ/s1600/12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ2ulJXGsUjUszcu45EfsggIruzMopjmdxmsWJKpEyc0bjeJJJbchWg5r-q00a1YesBhpSlNkktxYHgo_LgyhxU92XZxdRFWswByT5T0WSzPpZ-O-SeZSzyi0I-ETjXjRTZuPkvBTAeSbZ/s400/12.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">They will show you a part of
themselves that few people ever get to see.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Pay Attention to Your
Experience<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You don’t have to be a yogic
master to experience the benefits of mindfulness in your life—and your
relationships with women. You don’t even have to meditate! All you have to do
is be aware of what is actually happening right now, within you and all around
you, while trying not to judge it as good or bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That’s it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s the simplest thing in the
world. And the hardest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Being mindful of the people
around you means witnessing their experiences, their emotions, their
words…without becoming reactive. Mindfulness is an inner space of stillness, of
being, which manifests outwardly as focused attention.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghXw6s5ojC6q6wMfp9ResFRBIYSFD49huIwZgXVUyIfy3KVnAdt3SqEyfCUDS13pVLdR-GMTeG5Yaf4itW8fXdWck7oAOtypVIFmE_CzpC2x4UyqYQO5-q0D64Qa8-Gc7uoYQbTIC2KMB-/s1600/13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="369" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghXw6s5ojC6q6wMfp9ResFRBIYSFD49huIwZgXVUyIfy3KVnAdt3SqEyfCUDS13pVLdR-GMTeG5Yaf4itW8fXdWck7oAOtypVIFmE_CzpC2x4UyqYQO5-q0D64Qa8-Gc7uoYQbTIC2KMB-/s400/13.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Witnessing their experiences,
their emotions, their words…without becoming reactive.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Pay Special Attention to the
Women Around You<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You have an incredible power
when it comes to women. The power to hold masculine space, so that they can
relax into their feminine selves. A very simplistic description of the sacred
masculine is that of a container. The feminine is the fluid within, able to
flow because she doesn’t have to contain herself. If you’re craving feminine
presence—softness, receptivity, playfulness, authentic adorable womaniness of
an indescribable quality—holding space for the women around you is how to get
it. This doesn’t just benefit you: it is a huge relief to be able to just <i>be feminine</i>.
It’s a huge relief for anyone of either gender to know that they are being
truly seen, and that they are not judged. Holding space makes life easier for
the people around you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next time you’re in a
fight and don’t know how to move forward, or find yourself getting frustrated,
feeling that you aren’t helping, it’s time to take a deep breath, and hold
space for this woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This can be especially
powerful when the woman you’re with is feeling sensitive, upset, hurting, or
needs your emotional support and listening. The next time you’re in a fight and
don’t know how to move forward, or find yourself getting frustrated, feeling
that you aren’t helping, it’s time to take a deep breath, and hold space for
this woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Turn your focus towards her
fully. Really notice this woman, the details of her appearance, her posture,
and how she has chosen to present herself; what she is doing, how she’s doing
it, the things she’s saying and the things she is leaving unsaid; anything and
everything. If a reaction starts to arise in you, accept it within yourself,
and try to provide a non-reaction externally. You don’t have to give any
compliments in order to hold space. You don’t have to provide advice to be
providing your masculine presence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You don’t have to say anything
at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtggFaJYJZPacYaXH4bWv2yEx-Qs22x2EQxUeQKsJvYG8TMQAxcvJz9bubAkTLi44N1iM546YbORPM9MaSRvocrGdib4f9_H_X7EbE8Kx90bDbyrETn9197MxNRI01Wh6-LytlCgMQzR4-/s1600/14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtggFaJYJZPacYaXH4bWv2yEx-Qs22x2EQxUeQKsJvYG8TMQAxcvJz9bubAkTLi44N1iM546YbORPM9MaSRvocrGdib4f9_H_X7EbE8Kx90bDbyrETn9197MxNRI01Wh6-LytlCgMQzR4-/s400/14.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Really notice this woman and
how she has chosen to present herself.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Body Language<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This is really about holding
space within yourself. Be aware of how you feel, place the nexus of yourself,
your consciousness, fully in your body. This has the effect of holding space
for the other person, within yourself. Doing that creates a connection between
you, an exchange of energy, with subconscious cues. The same way yawns are
contagious, if you tense up in response to another person’s emotional charge
(to protect yourself from it, which is understandable and we all do it!) the
other person will do the exact same thing: tense up. But if you realize that
you are tensing up, and instead breathe deeply and release the tension, perhaps
by being aware and breathing into it, you are giving that gift of relaxation
and space to the other person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s therefore important to
use your body to show that you are really there, really present. If you’re not
sure how to do that, try turning your body towards her, squaring your shoulders
so that she lines up with the middle of your chest, and turning your head to
face her fully. Watch her eyes. This may seem obvious or insignificant, but it
is profoundly meaningful, and often we change our body language without
realizing it, accidentally sending cues to our partner that we don’t want to
send. Being aware of your body language is powerful. Practice being aware and
trying to open.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj774J3vVa0RhzCywla0w9wOm0yjo7k2brdcnJrRsSUf73KoiL12dbEcB8Awu-OImYG0nxabZ1taD9pvoK_sq4BPWTpr9uOoiJTCLTCL4GPhvnw8seo8BaPb94oqMk67jS9nhZUiy4tuy_N/s1600/15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="369" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj774J3vVa0RhzCywla0w9wOm0yjo7k2brdcnJrRsSUf73KoiL12dbEcB8Awu-OImYG0nxabZ1taD9pvoK_sq4BPWTpr9uOoiJTCLTCL4GPhvnw8seo8BaPb94oqMk67jS9nhZUiy4tuy_N/s400/15.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Being aware of your body
language is powerful.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Holding Space Means Support in
Healing.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Everyone has trauma.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The only way through trauma is
to feel it. If a person doesn’t feel their pain, their anger, their fear—if
they instead repress it—it grows and festers, like a sliver that doesn’t get
pulled out. But feelings like pain, anger and fear are, well, painful! And
scary! And upsetting! Feeling them isn’t fun. It takes a great amount of
courage and strength to do so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Holding space means lending
your courage, your strength. It means creating a safe environment for someone
you care about to exorcise the hurt within them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Holding space means lending
your courage, your strength. It means creating a safe environment for someone
you care for to exorcise the hurt within them. Allowing that person to cry, to
scream, to shudder; witnessing their authentic experience and reacting with
love and acceptance to the extent that you are able, is a powerful way of
supporting them in this most important spiritual and emotional work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Don’t worry—it isn’t always
going to be tears and screaming! In fact, the more you practice holding space,
the more you integrate it into your daily life, the more relaxation and fun and
silliness will follow you, from everyone around you. As you learn to do this
with women, the results will be especially profound and lovely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSZGy5INPG89N4XszEKM7r2BFmFJkmQmwQ_O3YzFF2voE2SLi1DfV9Eb6Lbgvwf7yig0XzfQ6f6a86EZ3VE4bPSDMYFPhXcRAS1QwGYn9QjMptvyPNG2SEUiZUOFMSRVXBptuwgVtZHUDj/s1600/16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="700" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSZGy5INPG89N4XszEKM7r2BFmFJkmQmwQ_O3YzFF2voE2SLi1DfV9Eb6Lbgvwf7yig0XzfQ6f6a86EZ3VE4bPSDMYFPhXcRAS1QwGYn9QjMptvyPNG2SEUiZUOFMSRVXBptuwgVtZHUDj/s400/16.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It means creating a safe
environment for someone you care about.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When a man is holding space
for me, I light up. I let down my guard. I feel more energetic, more free, less
worried.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When a man turns the power of
his attention to a woman, and holds space in this way, magic happens. When you
truly see her, hear her, know her, you can become aware of her beauty and
power. Because of your awareness, she’s able to relax into the moment, be more
feminine, be more herself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Love is a verb, like eat, or
sleep. You don’t just do it once. Being present with a woman is itself an act
of profound love. So practice it, and watch as magic happens around you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-62236626817680465762018-05-11T17:07:00.000-07:002018-05-11T17:07:30.151-07:00Sex: Surrendering into Pleasure<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk7Mi3a951V5eguKTpGdtDNRpscbA1zFzvJpPponaehAXFH8_1pvCXIg7QZHqONK9McnI5R_w7wv3ApCyoVFnF2ov1AW2H5Rr3LTFpv79dw5y8bwg76bXLeMFXy-72x9TLHu8kvSQi71lc/s1600/Conscious+Love+Bestseller.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk7Mi3a951V5eguKTpGdtDNRpscbA1zFzvJpPponaehAXFH8_1pvCXIg7QZHqONK9McnI5R_w7wv3ApCyoVFnF2ov1AW2H5Rr3LTFpv79dw5y8bwg76bXLeMFXy-72x9TLHu8kvSQi71lc/s320/Conscious+Love+Bestseller.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Sex: Surrendering into
Pleasure<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Sex is a hot topic for most of us as it
has been for me. I am a very passionate person. I love sex. I love making love
even more. I love feeling close, skin on skin, and intimate with someone I am
attracted to, where we can share pleasure and be sensual together. I felt
ashamed for having such intense feelings of sexual desire. I began to deny
myself of my own pleasure as a woman for fear of losing control and being too
much, too wild. I thought if I was too much, I may not get the love and
attention I so longed for. I didn’t know how to talk about sex and was
embarrassed to share my fantasies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I was scared of the power my sexuality
seemed to have over me. It seemed like a power, bigger than me would just take
over. I didn’t know how to manage my sexual energy. I so longed to feel
pleasure with my partner and be penetrated and taken by him. Yet, I didn’t
really know how to let go of being in charge, so I could give him the
opportunity to penetrate and take me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It scared me to relinquish control. I
didn’t think my partner would be able to hold a strong enough space for me. I
had fears of him judging me and abandoning me for being too wild.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">How did I go from relinquishing control
to surrendering into pleasure you might be asking?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I found a man who was willing to play with
me and be present with me, someone who I had really great sexual chemistry
with. We were totally honest about our fantasies, our needs and our desires. We
made time to touch each other and look into each other’s eyes with undivided
attention. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The most important part of surrendering
into pleasure for me was creating a solid place of trust. Setting mutual
agreements that felt honoring for both of us was key to creating trust. The
more quality time I spent with my partner, the more I felt safe to surrender
into pleasure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">As I surrendered into pleasure little by
little, I deepened my trust with my partner. The more I felt safe to relax, the
more pleasure I was able to feel. We synchronized our energies with cuddling
and slow erotic massages. Sometimes fears would come up. I mentioned to my
partner that anytime I needed to have an emotional release, all he needed to do
was BE with me in the feeling. There was no need for words, just for him to
hold a solid, loving space for me to move through my tears. The more I gave
myself permission to feel my feelings, the more space there was for me to give
and receive pleasure. The more I gave pleasure the more I was able to receive
pleasure. We fed on each other’s pleasure, pleasuring each other for hours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I love being a woman now. I embrace my
sexuality and my femininity and love getting all juiced up for my partner. I
feel so grateful that I had and continue to have the courage and willingness to
feel my feelings; I feel I have a deeper and more loving relationship now than
ever before, not just with my partner, but most importantly with myself. I am
my own lover and a best friend and have found a partner to share this with,
where we pleasure each other beyond just intercourse. We pleasure each other
with a glance or a touch. I wish this quality of connection and intimacy for
everyone. It is truly divine to share pleasure in this way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-20190262260579876422018-05-11T16:55:00.002-07:002018-05-11T16:55:53.430-07:00What is Self Responsibility?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgcNOSrcg-ikRCUiga-dGvNFcA01-45JbfTvu3QwbXSc603v67JhcVAtJEDGmCxlI78IGr4UGFz4Ahyphenhyphenff_RwTDE1OYqTKSrugwgw2Prh0pC3sH2Yk5DXj1e8vVjzRaDtSAkllha1Qi9T-/s1600/taking-responsbility-and-enjoying-it-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="346" data-original-width="346" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgcNOSrcg-ikRCUiga-dGvNFcA01-45JbfTvu3QwbXSc603v67JhcVAtJEDGmCxlI78IGr4UGFz4Ahyphenhyphenff_RwTDE1OYqTKSrugwgw2Prh0pC3sH2Yk5DXj1e8vVjzRaDtSAkllha1Qi9T-/s400/taking-responsbility-and-enjoying-it-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">What
is Self Responsibility?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Posted on </span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2014/11/22/what-is-self-responsibility/" title="10:09 pm"><span style="color: #0011bb; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">November 22, 2014</span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Self Responsibility is
the Ultimate Freedom! I challenge you to explore and see for yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Self Responsibility is
the ability to RESPOND to whatever we CHOOSE to respond to. Being self
responsible gives us the ability to choose how we want to respond to any given
person or situation. The POWER OF CHOICE is the key.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are you choosing
in your life? What are you aware of that you are choosing and what are you
unaware of that is showing up in your life that is demanding your attention?
Take a moment and look closely. Your life is a direct reflection of you. Where
are you taking responsibility in your life? Where are you not taking
responsibility for your life? Where do you need to take more responsibility……
where is there unresolved stuff?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So one of the ways to know
if you are not taking responsibility for your life is if you are blaming,
shaming, judging and criticizing others and yourself. One way to shift
this pattern is to start really monitoring your inner dialogue. What are you
telling yourself? How are you treating yourself? What words are you choosing?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our words are very
powerful – they create our reality. So we get to choose wisely to what words we
are using since they have energy to them.. each word we choose has a specific
frequency and the word becomes more potent when we align the word up with our
feelings… this is where the true power comes from. When we align our words up
with our feelings, and share what we feel with authenticity, then watch
out…….Notice what happens any how people respond to you as you choose your
words wisely and connect the word with the feeling and share your experience
using I statements… I feel, I notice… I need…I really want…. I am frustrating
myself around……I am triggering myself with…..I just need some down time….I am
really happy since I …….I am so appreciate you for…..etc.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Self Responsible
Guidelines.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. I seek to
understand others first, especially when there are differences.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. I am responsible
for how I hold my feelings and perspectives, not anyone else.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. I understand when
someone is sharing his or her perspective, they are telling me about them NOT
about me, which makes my defensiveness less likely to be activated, so I can
listen with my heart rather than justify why I am right and the other person is
wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. When someone thinks
and acts a certain way and it makes perfect sense to them, I would very likely
think and act the same way too if I was in their situation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. When I feel the
need to fix someone else, instead of using “you should”…… I will choose to
respond by sharing what I notice and how I feel about the situation using words
like I think, I feel.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. Realizing that I am
not all knowing helps me to stay humble in the way I communicate, which helps
create an atmosphere of openness and co-operation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. I speak and listen
from my heart and the deeper knowing of my being.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. I embrace what is
alive in me. For example, if I am feeling jealousy… I make friends with
jealousy, by having a conversation with it to find out what it needs. I may
draw it out on paper or move jealousy with my body…so it has a way to feel
expressed. This helps me express it vs depress it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9. I commit to BEING
LOVE, sharing love and receive love. When I am in doubt I ask…What would love
do? and I listen for the answer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Taking 100%
responsibility for everything we create in our lives can seem like a big deal
and it is. And yet, until we do, we won’t be able to truly change and grow with
power and purpose. We won’t feel unified as equals, safe to truly be ourselves
and liberated as individuals.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Taking a STAND for
being self responsible is the best gift we can give yourselves and the world.
By choosing to respond to our life, taking responsibility for our
thoughts, our feelings and our actions, then we free ourselves of blame and
victimization – this is what true power is, taking full ownership for our part.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank you for doing
your part. I appreciate you taking a stand in aligning with your integrity and
purpose and for making a difference in your life. Everyone benefits from you
consciously choosing your words and your life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please feel free to
let me know what you notice while putting your awareness to practice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Loving Service to
you,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lucia Nicola Evans<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;">“Be the Change you
want to SEE in the world” Gandhi.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-53438012093609528032018-05-11T16:51:00.000-07:002018-05-11T16:52:22.874-07:00Attachment vs Non-attachment – what to do when triggered or upset.<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Be the Change you
want to see in the world.’ <o:p></o:p></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Gandhi</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Attachment vs Non-attachment – what to do when triggered or upset.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666;">Posted on </span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2014/11/22/attachment-vs-non-attachment/" title="11:23 pm"><span style="color: #0011bb; text-decoration-line: none;">November 22, 2014</span></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ATTACHMENT is when we are attached to a certain outcome. It may show up in the form of an expectation or an assumption of how things “should” look or “ought” to be. The main thing that comes up here is that having expectations or assumptions will often create a dynamic of blame, and make wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Our attachments often create much disappointment and then in turn lead to resistance of what is, creating pain and suffering and disconnect. People who are most attached are usually people pleasers. Those of us who really feel valued when others need us and notice what we do and say tend to be people who are attached to what others think. They may feel insecure and not know who they really are. The downfall of being attached to a certain outcome is that we attach value on ourselves only when we are noticed and if we are not noticed the way we want, then we don’t feel appreciated and valued, making the other person/people wrong for not responding how we think they should leaving us with feelings of unappreciated and insignificant.. like we don’t matter. This reaction on other peoples non-response will tend to create isolation and may lead us into depression and disconnection from meaningful relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;">NON-ATTACHMENT, on the other hand, is when we let go of any specific outcome and just allow things to flow… often being more spontaneous and accepting of what is. Allowing what is and just BEING IN THE MOMENT creates more space to explore and have fun. In this state of being, there are no expectations or assumptions. The gift of non-attachment is that there is no agenda and there seems to be more freedom just to BE in the moment and enjoy things as they are. There will often be more acceptance as a result, giving us more space to breath and be ourselves in a more relaxed, authentic atmosphere. The most important thing to remember here when we are in a state of non-attachment is we need to ALWAYS ask for what we need. Making requests is super important and letting others know what we need is VITAL rather then expecting them to know and read our minds. Awwww this is a recipe for disaster – thinking that the others know what we are thinking.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Example of a request – “I know you are busy and you may not have notice that I cleaned the whole house while you were gone… I would love it if took a moment and just appreciated all the hard work I put into making the house look nice, thank you.. this would mean a lot to me… can I show you?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now making a request that is inviting like this… creates deeper connection with others rather than disconnect and blame.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Where there is disconnect and blame this is also known as a trigger. A Trigger is when we are not in our hearts and we are defending our position or attacking the other person in defending our position of needing to be heard and understood.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I recommend when you trigger yourself follow the following steps.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;">GUIDELINES TO RESTORE HARMONY WITHIN YOURSELF.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. Take a moment and breath and just notice you are triggered.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. See if you can identify what you are triggered about.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. Once you identify the trigger, be with it and really feel the pain and discomfort in your body. Feel your feelings fully.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4. Once you have felt your feelings fully, allow yourself to create distance and see your situation from a birds eye view. See if you can see how things may have been for anyone else in your presence.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5. Verbalize your experience from your heart which someone who can be present with you and really listen from their heart. You may ask them for feedback to get another angle on the issue at hand, shedding light to any blind spots that could help you deepen your understanding of how you can handle it with more grace and ease and love next time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">GUIDELINES TO FOLLOW TO RESTORE HARMONY WITH ANOTHER PERSON<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. Take a breath to receive the other person and presence them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. Stop talking and listen where they are at, while putting your feelings and needs temporarily aside<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. Feel into what the other person might be feeling at this present moment<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4. When there is a gap in their sharing, practice empathy and compassionate communication (compassionate communication is communication that connects.. e.g. – I hear that is painful for you .. or Wow, that sounds hard… or I really appreciate your vulnerability or I understand that this is a challenging time for you… is there anything I can support you with?)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5. Ask what they are feeling – show authentic interest<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6. Use reflective /active listening – using their words and phrases – reflective listening is not interpreting what you heard them say, it is saying what you heard the other person say without your filter. What I heard you say is…..… is this right? that makes sense……is there more?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">7. Share something I appreciate about them<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">8. Acknowledge them for something relevant – e.g. – I acknowledge you for your willingness to stick with the process… I understand it is hard. Thank you for your courage.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">9. Ask what they need – eg. support, listening, appreciation, encouragement, validation, being held, a hug…etc.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">10. Acknowledge them for sharing their truth and what is real for them especially their vulnerability and honesty.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am so committed to sharing my truth even if it painful for others to hear. The funny thing about truth it will bring us closer, even if it hurts at first. Thank you for showing up to be your best self.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;">Notice when you are in a state of Attachment and when you are in a state of Non-Attachment and just notice what happens.. How are others responding to you? How are you responding to you? Just notice without putting meaning to it or making anyone wrong including yourself Just Notice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As always, I encourage you to write down your noticing as you will start to become more aware of the different responses when you put more attention into what you noticed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hope this information is useful to you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In Loving Service,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lucia Nicola<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-14171727410227304862018-05-11T16:50:00.001-07:002018-05-11T16:50:29.895-07:00The Power of Choice<br />
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">The
Power of Choice<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Posted on </span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2014/12/13/the-power-of-choice/" title="12:12 pm"><span style="color: #0011bb; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">December 13, 2014</span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> by <a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/author/luciaevans/" title="View all posts by luciaevans"><span style="color: #0011bb; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">luciaevans</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GREAT NEWS!!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At any moment we have
the power to choose something NEW.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We have THE POWER TO
CHOOSE a NEW REALITY with each moment, with each breath. Yes, it is that
simple. We have the power to CHOOSE how we respond to ourselves and each other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to encourage
you to slow down and choose to take a stand. Take a stand for yourself for
love. Take a stand to love yourself first. I want to encourage you to be your
own safety net. Be who you want others to be. Write a list of those attributes,
qualities. Now put I am in front of each attribute and become those very
things you want others to be. Radiate these qualities.. share these qualities
with those around you… inspire and encourage people who need support…. share
your love and appreciation with those who are struggling… give someone a hug, a
smile, send someone a card to let them know how much you care about them and
appreciate them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Choose to share your
heart and love with those around you after sharing it with yourself first.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Say I LOVE YOU to
yourself… say it many times a day… and then start saying it to those people
around you.. even the ones you don’t know…. just start saying I LOVE YOU. You
are important! You matter!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With each breath you
have a new choice – Matt Kahn started a LOVE REVOLUTION and in one of his tube
video’s – “Your Divine Nature” – https://www.youtube.com/user/JulieMuse he
says,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Use the breath to say
I love you to you…..with this one breath, I give it to creating harmony, peace
resolve for all hearts, to wiping out the history of persecution and violence,
to purifying all lands, creating abundance where all will thrive and prosper
and share their gifts”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Allow yourself time to
stop and regroup. BREATHE… ask yourself:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. What am I ready to
let go of that is no longer serving my highest good?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. What would I like
to create NOW that I am aligned with?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. What do I need to
shift, and put into ACTION TODAY in order to make this a reality? Who do I need
to call? What do I need to do? or What do I need to become?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Remember – each thought
you think creates an energetic wave, that emits a certain frequency, which
ultimately creates your reality as you know it. Energy flows where
attention goes. When you put your attention on something, even a thought,
energy flows there.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, CHOOSE your
thoughts WISELY… Let go of the self defeating thoughts RIGHT NOW!!! CHOOSE to
refocus your attention to the thoughts that are helpful for your expansion
….say thank you for sharing to those thoughts that are self defeating…. and
refocus and shift to thinking thoughts that are supportive to you moving
forward powerfully. I am a powerful manifested. I know I can create whatever I
want. I believe in myself. Wow… I really can do anything I want.. what will
that be? Dare to dream BIG and/or show up in each moment with presence and
share love and kindness to someone in need of love.. which is all of us!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #333333; padding: 0in;">What thoughts do you need to
think in order to make a reality that is in alignment with what serves you AND
the highest good of all. Write a list of your top 6 VALUES so you know what to
align your thought up with. What is </span><span style="color: #333333;">important<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"> to you and where are you choosing to put
your attention each day! </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Know our attention is
the most valuable commodity we have access to – make time to CHOOSE
POWERFULLY.. not just for you – for all beings around you! Everyone is impacted
by what you choose…everyone.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are you CHOOSING
to think? and What thoughts are you willing to change?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With love and
appreciation to you for taking time to CHOOSE POWERFULLY & WISELY,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lucia Nicola<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Be the Change you
want to see in the world.’ <o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gandhi</span></div>
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lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-77206433953673964102018-05-11T16:46:00.000-07:002018-05-11T20:28:14.177-07:00From Turmoil to Peace<br />
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">From
Turmoil to Peace<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Posted on </span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2015/05/26/from-turmoil-to-peace/" title="10:09 am"><span style="color: #0011bb; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; text-decoration: none;">May 26, 2015</span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My whole life I have
tried to make sense of this human experience. What it is that I need to learn
as I evolve and get older. I have come to realize that it is very simple, and
yet not so easy to do all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the past week, as
I am an empath, I have been feeling the collective field very deeply. I have
been feeling deep deep pain. Our world no doubt is in extreme turmoil. There is
a lot of devastation going on right now that is challenging for us. How are
economy is, to our environment, to how we treat each other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I often ask myself
what can I do to help this world? I don’t feel like I am doing enough.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I woke up today again
asking, what is it that I need to be focusing on to help our world, our people,
our environment? What is really important right now?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then it dawned on me.
The best thing I can do to help is to BE at PEACE within myself in this very
moment and allow my inner knowing, my inner guidance, grace – to show me
from moment to moment where I need to go with this feeling of peace. To have a
loving conscious relationship with myself. This requires me to slow down and
really listen. That is another blog I will write soon. How to really LISTEN.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is so easy to worry
– worrying about how to make money, worrying about the world and about our
future. Worrying about our future does not bring peace. Being in the present
moment brings peace. And this moment is so so so precious. I have the power to bring
my attention back to this moment and each moment with a simple breath to
restore peace once again.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The great news is, by
coming back to peace, I am creating a new experience for myself in the field of
turmoil and gloom and doom.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am creating an experience
for the possibility where I can NOW create space to create something
NEW. You may be asking, how do I do that?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, it is very
simple. Bring your focus back to the breath and realize that each moment is
just as it needs to be in order for the next moment to unfold. Accept things as
they are in each moment.. and notice what you are feeling. Are you really
allowing yourself to feel the feelings or are you resisting them? To feel the
feelings – allow yourself time and space – slow down and make time to have
important quality conversations. Get support from friends that you trust. To
dissolve the resistance, lean into it. Find out what the resistance needs. What
are you resisting? Can you define it? Where are you feeling the resistance in
your body? Notice how you are breathing. This is the discovery work that I do
with clients – exploring what is in the way of feeling and being at PEACE.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;">Feeling the feelings
restores peace. Having truthful loving conversations with others to share what
is real for you restores peace. Avoiding and resisting what is creates more
turmoil. This turmoil with eventually show up in your body as tension or
some sort of dis-ease. The only thing that is really trust worthy is to come
from my inner knowings and becoming aware of what it is saying to me.
I don’t need to know about the next moment. If I can live my life in the
flow of each moment, then I am living in alignment with Peace.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I realized the last
week I have been putting a lot of PRESSURE on myself to create some sort of
plan in order for others to understand more about what I am doing in my work. I
realized that the information will come as soon as I release the pressure. For
the pressure is just creating more turmoil inside about what I think I should
be doing. And this does not feel at all peaceful. This feels judgmental.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being peaceful inside
has so many benefits. I get to have more fun because I am more relaxed. I get
to notice more. We live in such a beautiful world. Yes, there are some really
depressing things, no doubt about it. I just watch a movie called “Tomorrow
Land” . It shows a more positive future for us. It is worth seeing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What are you choosing
to put your attention on? The hopelessness and despair of the world or the
beauty of knowing that you can be at peace within and come from a place of love
for yourself, for our world and for each other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What will you do for
peace? What are you willing to take a stand for? What is your heart longing
for? Are you willing to die for it? Who will you ask to be on your team?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We have an opportunity
here right now in our world. We have an opportunity to remember that peace
within, get connected, align ourselves with our values and live this with each
moment of each day.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I take a stand for
SUSTAINABLE GLOBAL CHANGE through loving each moment as it arises from a
loving, centered, grounded and connected place.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I take a stand for
PEACE, by returning to my breath when I am upset and putting pressure on
myself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I take a stand for
LOVE, and asking for support when I need it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I take a stand for
COMMUNITY, for receiving SUPPORT when it is too much for me to handle by
myself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I take a stand for
being AVAILABLE to those in need that are willing to take responsibility for
their part. I am here for you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I take a stand for
BEING PRESENT to each moment where I have the opportunity to come back to my
Heart, to my Being, to PEACE so I can create a foundation to PLAY from.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have found a
formula that works really well for me to sustain peace. I hope it helps you in
your life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">GRACE is my guide.
Grace is generated by POWER. Power is sparked by my INTENTION. And my Intention
is fed by LOVE.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Blessings and Peace to
you all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In loving Service to
you. Lucia Nicola<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-56865113236640793402018-05-11T16:44:00.003-07:002018-05-11T16:44:31.578-07:00The Difference Between Divine Love and Programmed Love<br />
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">The
Difference Between Divine Love and Programmed Love<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Posted on </span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2015/06/29/the-difference-between-divine-love-and-programmed-love/" title="7:02 pm"><span style="color: #0011bb; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">June 29, 2015</span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Hi There Beloveds,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just went through
some intense feelings of severe confusion to discover this clarity. I am
inspired to write it now because it in still very fresh for me. I know many of
you will resonate with what I am saying.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I was getting super
confused about what Being In Love really meant. Someone shared with me
yesterday how being in love to him meant loosing his sense of self in another
person. I find this fascinating because Being in love for me is gaining my self
of self with another. To me, all there is that I know from my being, is Love.
Love is our natural state of being and therefore has no association with human
meaning as a concept or programming. Yet, many associate Being In Love with
romantic or programmed actions or feelings and an identification what we think
it is from previous expectations or assumptions. So being in love is not
something you can understand or figure out from our programmed beliefs and
constructs, from our mind. Being in love, is eternal, forever – if it is
coming from Divine Intelligence… something greater than our programmed beliefs
and constructs.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being in Divine
Love is not conditional… meaning it doesn’t change depending on external
circumstances – it is constant and it cannot be threatened. If someone is
having a bad day.. I don’t love them any less for them having a bad day or if
they lash out at me. I send compassion and love their way.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is our purpose to
evolve into this Divine Love….We grow and deepen and eventually come to realize
that all there is to come back to is love. Divine love never goes away. This is
how to really experience total acceptance where there is no pain and suffering…
just a state of BEING IN LOVE.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Programmed Love on the
other hand comes and goes.. and pain is then felt from the identification of
this impermanence of such love. Feeling the separation of the lack of love is
not fun. This causes us excruciating pain and suffering in our hearts and
beings – we feel things like.. not feeling wanted, needed, safe… feelings of
rejection surface since we put so much meaning to it these things. Then we shut
down because it feels threatening to keep our hearts open due to the constant
changeability of programmed love.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Divine Love just is.
It is not associated with anything other than Being itself. Being is constant…
it is not changeable.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we take time to
BE…what is the overall feeling? relaxed right? So when we are relaxed, we are
aligned with Divine Love. When we are upset and triggered we are coming from
programmed love… we go into expectation and assumptions and disappointments and
wounding etc.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because Divine love
just is….. there is nowhere it isn’t. It is in this sense without meaning. So
there way out of pain and suffering is to let go into the flow and be in the
issues of being… a state that is too vast to be understood by the human mind…
it is only understood by our experience of this now moment. A total full experience
of what is right now, where there is no thought, no judgement, no emotional
suffering – just being.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What will you do…there
are two options.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Accept what is OR
Resist what is. What are you choosing? Today I rode he wave of accepting my
confusion.. it was initially painful and uncomfortable.. then the skies cleared
and I found a deeper understanding. I am so grateful for this discovery.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">An Action Step you can
do – Something that will help you be in Divine Love more… is taking consistent
time to go inward and relax into the moment..into just being – come back to
your senses.. how are you feeling.. what are you feeling in your body? does
your body have something to tell you? what are you hearing? Can you feel the
rhythm of your breath? You can go to the beach and use the rhythm of the waves
to bring you into a state of relaxation or put on some relaxing words that
doesn't have words – take 20 to 30 mins of quiet time to JUST BE daily – see
what you discover. What is the essence of you? can you feel it? I would love to
hear your discoveries.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Feel free to email me
at relationshipnavigator@gmail.com<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being In love and
Service with you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lucia Nicola<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-31429691118547576582018-05-11T16:40:00.002-07:002018-05-11T16:40:41.368-07:00The Importance of your Inner Life<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK7toC6cGVE1JAP6zMe3ilsRKo5P7yhPUeIrFfAXPF_aDBbCZmW-ogxe5qBYu9mWSmbIZ4igrjZE16KNz_AxwmblaueUpPksTg-YSR-fL-9viw3e2wLWgwaVxz6EmK3U_97GN0xE8UjpNL/s1600/inner-life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="1200" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK7toC6cGVE1JAP6zMe3ilsRKo5P7yhPUeIrFfAXPF_aDBbCZmW-ogxe5qBYu9mWSmbIZ4igrjZE16KNz_AxwmblaueUpPksTg-YSR-fL-9viw3e2wLWgwaVxz6EmK3U_97GN0xE8UjpNL/s640/inner-life.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">The
Importance of your Inner Life<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Posted on </span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2015/12/24/the-importance-of-your-inner-life/" title="12:12 am"><span style="color: #0011bb; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">December 24, 2015</span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is your inner
life?</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most of us have gotten
really good at accomplishing our to do lists and are focused on doing things
every day – this is our outer life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is important… and
yet you will get burned out if you don’t create time to focus on your inner life.
I know this to be true since it happened to me. I was a full time massage
therapist for 9 years and realized that one day I just couldn’t continue any
more and be true to myself and my wellbeing. I was exhausted. I needed to learn
how to really make myself a priority and focus more on my inner life which I
did and feel much better today and can now be there for others in a whole new
way.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your inner life is the
place where you go when you put your focus on you. Some questions to ponder.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you close your
eyes what is your attention focusing on?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How Self Aware are
you?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are your
thinking?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are you telling
yourself?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How are you feeling?
what are you feeling? where in your body are you feeling it?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you stressed? what
about?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you relaxed?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How much time are you
making to decompress from your day?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you meditating?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you allowing
yourself time to just be?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you spend time
outside in nature regularly to recharge?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are you doing to
feed your inner life and recharge your energy naturally?</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You inner life
reflects your outer life. Our inner life is really indicative on how much time
we take for self care.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How do we shift our
consciousness to responding with compassion and non-judgment when we are in
constant conflict with ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How can we learn to
honor ourselves and each other simultaneously and live on behave of the whole?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you don’t look
inside and shift what isn’t aligned with your truth, your integrity your
personal values, than who will it be? Who will do it for you?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What will it look like
to be true to yourself? what does this even mean?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you willing to
change – and focus on your inner world to change your outer world?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;">As Gandhi so well put,
“Be the change you want to see in the world”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are evolving and
growing all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The human race is at a
paradigm shift right now in our evolution. It is really up to each one of us to
make the choice to change the rules so they align with our own truth… where we
create the internal stamina to see things through to the end with peace and
sled-liberation and love for ourselves and each other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How do we deal with
the violence and injustice of the world?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We turn inward and
learn how to respond with compassion and love, verses judgment and fear by
practicing self compassion and love.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is it possible to
respect all sides… the ones fighting against each other. What are people really
fighting for? to get their way? What doesn’t make any sense is that they are
really fighting themselves… when we all get this… then we will learn to respect
each other more… because we will learn to respect ourselves by turning inward
and resolving the conflicts inside to effect the outside world.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What power do you
listen to? is it inside or outside of you? By making time feed your inner world
your outer world becomes richer and more fulfilling.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Hearts, to enrich
your inner life…. start meditating and sitting quietly for 30 minutes every
day. Let go of anything you don’t need any more… breathe deeply and allow your
exhale to take all the things you don’t want any more with it… just let go and
start to forgive those around you for any harm they have done.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To become more
congruent with your inner life, make a list of all the things you know you need
to do and haven’t done that is aligned with what you know intuitively, but you
keep putting it off. Find out what is holding you back from doing these
things…..get support…. set goals and deadlines for yourself or find an
accountability friend to motivate you and hold you accountable to finish what
you start.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ask yourself – How can
I become more empathetic to the needs of the people and the world? What can I
do TODAY to support me feeling empowered on how I live my life that is
authentic and grounded? It may just be how to manage your thoughts better and
be more present to those around you with an open heart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I take a stand for
Peace, Harmony and Compassion… where we can learned to feel balanced in our
inner life and thus have a balanced outer life. Seek to understand others
first.. and this brings a deeper connection and rapport to one another.. where
we can become more authentic with one another.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am here with you to
serve you and guide you through this crisis that we are in right now… to
remember the importance of the inner life when things get overwhelmed is of
great importance to our survival.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can contact me at
relationshipnavigator@gmail.com with any questions or visit my website at
www.lovingconsciousrelationships.com<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks and blessing to
you and your wellbeing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And remember, make
time for fun with yourself!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lucia Nicola Evans<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-60937216376523463422018-05-11T16:35:00.002-07:002018-05-11T16:36:22.158-07:00Holding Back?<br />
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Holding
Back?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Posted on </span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2016/01/10/dont-hold-back/" title="12:50 pm"><span style="color: #0011bb; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; text-decoration: none;">January 10, 2016</span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"> by <span style="color: #0011bb; text-decoration: none;">luciaevans</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Who is actually
benefiting if you hold back. We all do it… why? Because most of us are afraid
of being judged or feeling uncomfortable. There is such a strong emphasis in
our society to be perfect…whatever that means. I have found myself caught in
this trap… and yes, it is a trap that is only trapping my brilliance in. Now
tell me if holding back is really helpful to you…. I know that it is not
helpful to me. If I keep myself from really letting out my light fully and I
prevent myself sharing my gifts to their full capacity who is actually
benefiting? I find myself protecting myself from all the things I really want
when I hold back. So it is a backwards strategy really. Why would I want to do
that? You see, by holding back, everyone looses. Because I am not setting an
example of what is possible and sharing who I am fully, no one really gets to
feel the alternative.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Alternative?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To Live FULL OUT! What
does this even look like? Well, I can say from experience that it is
uncomfortable and yet so very rewarding to live full out. Feeling uncomfortable
is a sure sign you are not holding back. Being transparent, honest and
vulnerable with your feelings is very important. Acting and living inspite of
fear. Now if we just focused on being present with our feelings and sharing
them in a heartfelt way, direct and honest… wow…. this would be one big step in
living full out. This way of living requires a commitment to being honest with
ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most of us are
terrified of any confrontation. Now…. when our words are connected to our
heart… and we slow down our speech, there seems to be an easier way to receive
what is being said. So, instead of the words coming out in a confrontational
way, they come out in a loving way that actually deepens our experience of
intimacy and connection with ourselves and each other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have recently met
someone who I have felt so very grateful to receive his deep support and care.
I have been challenged with how much I feel comfortable receiving. It is a very
humbling experience to consistently receive without thinking that I should give
something back. By humbly receiving with love and grace, I am giving back. It may
not feel this way to many of you, yet there is an energy transference that
happens when we can receive with love and allow a person to share their
contrition of support or love. It may be in the form of a gift, or making a
dinner or just helping a friend move, or being present to understand another’s
experience. It is often the simple gestures that are the most powerful.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know what I love to
offer and long to receive is undivided attention. So to be with someone with
100% presence takes courage and willingness to just be. We have become masters
at distracting ourselves, fixing problems and giving advice. How many people do
you know who choose to be present with you and really make time to listen to
you to understand you? One of my favorite lines in the Francis Prayer is “Seek
to Understand rather than be understood”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The more we understand
each other, the more connected with feel and the more relaxed we become and the
more fulfilled our relationships are. So… Practice understanding others before
seeking to be understood and just notice what happened. Let people know that
you are there to support them. Ask… What is it that you need support with right
now? I am here for you. and let them do the talking.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not holding back is
about allowing yourself to just BE with what arises and not fill the moment up
with distractions. Allow yourself to feel the feelings as they arise and just
notice what happens. Allow your breath to guide you and commit to being really
present – all of you.. with your body, mind and spirit. This is a true
practice of integrity to your authentic self. Let go of the facade and the
pretense… it is time to get REAL! I dare to your play and live full out!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Become curious about
what you might need to shift in your life in order to create space to live full
out. What do you need to let go of so there is more space in your life to live
with authenticity and integrity.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With love and
blessings to you,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lucia Nicola<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-57429818101449513582018-05-11T16:33:00.000-07:002018-05-11T16:33:21.870-07:00Sex: Surrendering Into Pleasure<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOelBk_KzHJs3X6XHgAaDTTXAeYluymezDT18HsRculdo7AkmI8seA-BZ8YOUJYZvYmqXC4JF6HDwN09Q5elIFLebD2K_x4Gd7Xpp_Gze1bO8-T21HAXr-ksctGges2VaylQp3Yix0leEI/s1600/surrender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="588" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOelBk_KzHJs3X6XHgAaDTTXAeYluymezDT18HsRculdo7AkmI8seA-BZ8YOUJYZvYmqXC4JF6HDwN09Q5elIFLebD2K_x4Gd7Xpp_Gze1bO8-T21HAXr-ksctGges2VaylQp3Yix0leEI/s400/surrender.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Sex: Surrendering Into Pleasure<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
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<span class="sep"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">Posted on</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2016/02/14/sex-surrendering-into-pleasure/" title="12:10 pm"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #0011bb; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">February
14, 2016</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span class="sep"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">by</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span class="author"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/author/luciaevans/" title="View all posts by luciaevans"><span style="color: #0011bb; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">luciaevans</span></a></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sex is a hot topic for most of us, it is for me. I am a very
passionate person. I love sex. I love making love even more. I love feeling
close, skin on skin, and being intimate with someone I am attracted to, where
we can share pleasure and be sensual together. Not too long ago, I felt ashamed
for having such intense feelings of sexual desire. I denied myself my own
pleasure as a woman for fear of losing control and being too much, too wild. I
thought if I was too much, I may not get the love and attention I so longed
for. I didn’t know how to talk about sex and was embarrassed to share my
fantasies.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
didn’t really know how to let go of being in charge…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was scared of the power my sexuality seemed to have over me.
It seemed like a power, bigger than me would just take over. I didn’t know how
to manage my sexual energy. I so longed to feel pleasure with my partner and be
“taken” by him. Yet, I didn’t really know how to let go of being in charge, so
I could give him the opportunity to truly make love to me.</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
It scared me to relinquish control. I didn’t think my partner would be able to
hold a strong enough space for me. I had fears of him judging me and abandoning
me for being too wild.</div>
<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #333333; padding: 0in;">How did I go from relinquishing
control to surrendering into pleasure you might be asking?</span></strong><span style="color: #333333;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I found a man who was willing to play with me and be present
with me, someone who I had really great sexual chemistry with. We were totally
honest about our fantasies, our needs and our desires. We made time to touch
each other and look into each other’s eyes with undivided attention.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The most important part of surrendering into pleasure for me was
creating a solid place of trust. Setting mutual agreements that felt honoring
for both of us was key to creating trust. The more quality time I spent with my
partner, the more I felt safe to surrender into pleasure.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
more I felt safe to relax, the more pleasure I was able to feel.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I surrendered into pleasure little by little, I deepened my
trust with my partner. The more I felt safe to relax, the more pleasure I was
able to feel. We synchronized our energies with cuddling and slow erotic
massages. Sometimes fears would come up, I mentioned to my partner that anytime
I needed to have an emotional release, all he needed to do was BE with me in
the feeling. There was no need for words, just for him to hold a solid, loving
space for me to move through my tears.The more I gave myself permission to feel
my feelings, the more space there was for me to give and receive pleasure. We
fed on each others pleasure, pleasuring each other for hours.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now,
I feel I have a deeper and more loving relationship, not just with my
partner, but most importantly, with myself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love being a woman now. I embrace my sexuality and my
femininity and love getting all juiced up for my partner. I feel so grateful
that I had and continue to have the courage and willingness to feel my
feelings. Now, I feel I have a deeper and more loving relationship, not just
with my partner, but most importantly, with myself. I am my own lover and best
friend and have found a partner to share this with, where we pleasure each
other beyond just intercourse. We pleasure each other with a glance or a touch.
I wish this quality of connection and intimacy for everyone. It is truly divine
to share pleasure in this way.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-7328219711101396072018-05-11T16:28:00.004-07:002018-05-11T16:28:51.628-07:00Returning To Balance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgks2NEGqFWeEde-Q3ek1urThhIUUveoW6751zz1Ukd2IdNgOtYvS4gVCgOoiH3X2XzVhT3YVAXQl65UydQ491c1NYlaSSAHPJCtVBugUrusiTdT9OBzNz8btSLJEizQwU8MKY4myuYkF-W/s1600/balance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="667" data-original-width="1000" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgks2NEGqFWeEde-Q3ek1urThhIUUveoW6751zz1Ukd2IdNgOtYvS4gVCgOoiH3X2XzVhT3YVAXQl65UydQ491c1NYlaSSAHPJCtVBugUrusiTdT9OBzNz8btSLJEizQwU8MKY4myuYkF-W/s320/balance.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Returning To Balance<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="sep"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">Posted on</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2016/06/27/returning-to-balance/" title="2:37 pm"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #0011bb; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in; text-decoration-line: none;">June 27, 2016</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span class="sep"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">by</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span class="author"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/author/luciaevans/" title="View all posts by luciaevans"><span style="color: #0011bb; text-decoration-line: none;">luciaevans</span></a></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Returning to Balance – Our Health Depends On It.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is much to be said about balance. To be healthy
we need to be in balance with our true nature – the yin which represents
the more feminine aspect and the yang, which represents the more male aspect of
ourselves. Balancing receiving and giving love is vital. Nurturing yourself and
giving to others from your heart, while implementing what needs to get done in
order to live sustainably is important to how you relate in the world. Your
health depends on how you listen to yourself. Your true nature responds well
when you are making choices that align with what feels good to you while
challenging yourself to keep growing and learning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Life presents many challenges and opportunities…. it
is up to us to learn how to create balance in our busy lives so we don’t get
burned out or get diagnosed with a disease.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Balance is the key to good health and happiness. There
are many components we need to learn to balance in order to keep ourselves
healthy and happy. What balance ultimately comes down to is a series of
conscious choices that align with what is important to us. By looking at our
values we get to see where we put our attention and energy. Making time to stay
centered, grounded and receptive to life and others is vital to sustain balance
and harmony. When we each take responsibility for our own energy by consciously
choosing how we respond with our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, we have the
power to shift our reality as we know it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Journal about the following questions to learn more
about yourself in relationship to returning to balance: What brings you
joy and happiness? When are you most relaxed? When are you most able to be
yourself? What makes you stressed?Who do you like to be with? Do you prefer to
be alone? What friends do you like to ? What environments feed you? Do you like
the city or the country? There are so many choices it is almost overwhelming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I have grown older, I am noticing the importance of
spending quality time with the people I care about. This brings me so much joy
and fulfillment. Quality time for me is being present – not answering my phone
when I am with friends or taking a walk and leaving my phone in my car. Just
within a romantic relationship, there is so much to balance. For example, I
need to think about creating time alone to make time for self care, time with
friends, time with family, play time, work time, and relaxation time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am a strong advocate of quality time. There is no
amount of money that can buy quality time. By quality time, I mean the quality
of attention we bring to how we relate with ourselves and each other. When
someone gives me their undivided attention, I feel like I matter to them and
that they really care about me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are so easily distracted these days. It is a
discipline and gift to have an uninterrupted conversation. I am always taking
deep breaths throughout my day in order to return to my center so I can respond
to what live presents me. We are not defined by our circumstance. We are
defined by how we respond or react to our circumstances.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What would returning to balance look like for you?
What do you need in order to slow down and enjoy life more? Maybe it is
creating more structure. Maybe it is creating less structure and going more
with the flow, becoming more spontaneous and playful. Maybe it is learning how
to let go of control and being right so you can be happy. Maybe returning to
balance is a discovery in itself for you. Let yourself explore here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you paying any attention to your heart and how you
are feeling? What about your inside world?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you take anytime to breath or to meditate in your
day? Are you allowing time to decompress from the daily stresses in the world,
from work and maybe even the people around you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are you thinking about? What is your attention on
during your day? Write a list where your attention goes. What is your intuition
telling you? Are you taking action according to what your intuition is telling
you? Are you letting those around you know how much they matter to you? Are you
acknowledging yourself for all that you have done? It is so easy to forget to
acknowledge ourselves. There is always something to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take a few minutes and write down what you need to do
or shift in order for you to return to balance in your life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You might find just by reading this post, something
will click and you will be inspired to make time for something you have been
putting off or connect with someone you haven’t seen or spent quality time with
for awhile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope you have found this post helpful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With love as always, Lucia Nicola<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></span></div>
lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-44892610118915926322018-05-11T16:25:00.000-07:002018-05-11T16:29:23.729-07:00In The Dark<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9LhFD2_dB7ZDnoO5eQk3qToAvUYoV6ZMel9JxQErs9ETvrEWncPhJ6ldbrxMxy8650Cmzv4rvuZGaEQyohAvJeArEps1EUD0nPomSfQJqUjJTYSUNtf-40l-ApmErgtER4nrIbKuS4roT/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="164" data-original-width="306" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9LhFD2_dB7ZDnoO5eQk3qToAvUYoV6ZMel9JxQErs9ETvrEWncPhJ6ldbrxMxy8650Cmzv4rvuZGaEQyohAvJeArEps1EUD0nPomSfQJqUjJTYSUNtf-40l-ApmErgtER4nrIbKuS4roT/s400/download.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">In The Dark<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
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<span class="sep"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;">Posted on</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2015/02/24/in-the-dark/" title="8:40 pm"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #0011bb; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none;">February 24, 2015</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span class="sep"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;">by</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span class="author"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;"><span style="color: #0011bb; text-decoration: none;"><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/author/luciaevans/" title="View all posts by luciaevans">luciaevans</a></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, I have felt in the dark regarding a previous
relationship. What have I done to shed light on the unknown and the concern? How
have I dealt with being in the dark?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To stop the cycle of feeding the dark.. the
manipulative, evil energies – The dark feeds on the dark. And feels threatened
by the light.. so the trick is to feed the dark with the light so the dark is
no longer being fed. The light will dissolve the darkness over time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I went through some ugly things with a previous
relationship… that involved lawyers and court and things that are just no fun
at all. Now…the whole time I was saying to myself… and to everyone…. let the
result be in the highest good for all…..sending light to the darkness….light
and love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes it is hard to know how things are going to
turn out.. especially when there is so much invested, time, emotions, energy,
love….so much invested. It is always an invitation to us… how much can we let
go… and can we come back to love…even if we feel wronged or if we don’t feel
honored or respected or that justice was served? Can we come back to love?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is it really worth the fight? Can we be stronger than
the dark… can we shed light on the places where it needs it most? what is that
for you in your life? What needs light and love? Where do you feel left in the
dark? Can you soften… and bring light into that space? Can you be with the
darkness.. and feel into it…. into its uncertainty… into its scary places? I
encourage you, no matter what darkness you are experiencing… come back home…
come back to love. Pause, Breath, Relax… back to love…. surround yourself with
light…. expand it beyond your body….let it fill the whole room… then go
further… allow the light to fill the city… then the county.. then all the
countries.. and then the entire planet.. and even beyond the planet into space…
send out light beyond even where you can imagine…..you are powerful and you
make a difference by each thought you have, each feeling you feel, each action
you take, create ripples of energy out into space. You are powerful. Keep
focusing on what you want to happen…really feel the outcome…… and it will
happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It did with me….I was able to return back to love with
my ex-partner after all the lawyers and court stuff….Thank you – this is truly
a miracle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is from my book I am currently writing “Once I
allowed myself to step into the unknown and give myself permission to let go,
doors started opening and all sorts of things became available to me. It was as
if I was living in a land of magic where spontenaity resides and sychronicities
happen all the time. Actually, it was when I was aware of the sychronicities
when I knew I was on track”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With love as Always,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lucia Nicola<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-39084329440723894672018-05-11T16:22:00.003-07:002018-05-11T16:29:54.661-07:00Belonging<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6y2lRKISK422lAFq0Ll0TRCVeLV4HXhElsSDEA_5gkd0k78Mddn_wocAWsrSE6s6mv7p412Yg11PDnsY2vIEI4GUziINN4xg1Ml8BbVqmHXtLTEnkgJXzKYIZqIvEXzqRdXuQRc6UgXhz/s1600/itemeditorimage_5aac0a6a8ba51.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="272" data-original-width="500" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6y2lRKISK422lAFq0Ll0TRCVeLV4HXhElsSDEA_5gkd0k78Mddn_wocAWsrSE6s6mv7p412Yg11PDnsY2vIEI4GUziINN4xg1Ml8BbVqmHXtLTEnkgJXzKYIZqIvEXzqRdXuQRc6UgXhz/s400/itemeditorimage_5aac0a6a8ba51.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span class="sep"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;">Posted on</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2013/12/04/belonging/" title="10:39 pm"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #0011bb; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none;">December
4, 2013</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span class="sep"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;">by</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span class="author"><span style="border: none 1.0pt; color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding: 0in;"><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/author/luciaevans/" title="View all posts by luciaevans"><span style="color: #0011bb; text-decoration: none;">luciaevans</span></a></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are all searching for a place to Belong… to be
ourselves! Where is this place!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don’t know about you, but I haven’t felt much like I
belonged here on this planet. I didn’t really know how to relate to the English
language for one, and then thought it strange to see how others treat each
other. It saddens me when people treat each other with unkindness and violence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Because I am an empath, and extremely intuitive, I
have the privilege to feel everything and everyone…. this is such a great gift,
and yet….sometimes when I want to turn it off, there is no off button. It is in
the innocence where the inner sense is made. So the place I have found is my
safe haven where I belong is connecting with Source and bringing that peace and
calm into the world of chaos… to bring calm to the chaos – this is what Gandhi
means when he said, “be the change you want to see in the world.” What do want
to change? Where do you belong?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My wish for the planet is that we learn how to love
each other in spite of our differences. That we learn how to communicate
effectively, that we learn to take the time, slow down and connect in with our
feelings and our true nature. My wish is that by developing emotional
intelligence we create Loving, Conscious Relationships. My sense is that
Relationships are the way of the NEW ECONOMY. My wish is that we can find a
place of belonging and acceptance in our own hearts that there is a place for
everyone to express themselves fully in a way that is honoring of not only
ourselves, but also for everyone else. My wish is there is a place to belong
for everyone equally where we are all sharing our resources so everyone feels
loved, cared for and nourished. From here we can thrive as a human race, not
just barely survive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Practice being calm inside – just being with yourself
focusing on your breathing, a flower, a candle flame, the sky and notice what
happens inside. Take the time to SLOW DOWN and really FEEL your FEELINGS. It is
okay if you feel scared.. just be with the scary feeling….Know that the scary
feeling will pass….it won’t last forever… use your breath to move through
it…..its okay.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let me know what you notice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.25in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is my great pleasure to be of Loving Service to
Humanity. I work the for Universe as a Relationship Navigator….In Joy, Bless you
all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-38107603404377071752018-05-11T16:18:00.001-07:002018-05-11T16:30:17.433-07:00Intimacy – What creates Intimacy, What blocks Intimacy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Intimacy
– What creates Intimacy, What blocks Intimacy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Posted on </span><a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/2014/12/05/intimacy-what-creates-intimacy-what-blocks-intimacy/" title="2:57 am"><span style="color: #0011bb; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; text-decoration: none;">December 5, 2014</span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"> by <a href="http://lovingconsciousrelationships.com/author/luciaevans/" title="View all posts by luciaevans"><span style="color: #0011bb; text-decoration: none;">luciaevans</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">WHAT
CREATES INTIMACY?</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">1.
Transparent, Honest Communication </span></b><span style="color: #333333;">– sharing what is real, maybe even feeling it and being
authentic about how you are feeling. Admitting your fears and having
courage to face your fears.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">2.
Integrity to One’s True Self</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – aligning what is important – your core values-to how you
live in relationship with self and other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">3.
Awareness –</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> being curious
and mindful about what is ……and letting go of expectations of how things
“should be”. Being choiceful of the words you use to connect vs
disconnect.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">4.
Open Heart</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – being patient
and loving with the process what self and others are feeling, developing
emotional intelligence, learning what is means to be compassionate and
empathetic for self and others<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">5.
Willingness</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – to be
available to work things through no matter what…a certain commitment.. using
phrases like… How can I support you? What do you need in order to feel resolve?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">6.
Mutual Understanding</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – learning to
listen to self and others to understand vs be right – where there is then a
benefit for all involved.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">7.
Being Real</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> with what is in
the moment – Admitting your own feelings and giving yourself permission to feel
them and share them with those who are important to you at any given moment<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">8.
Self Responsibilit</span></b><span style="color: #333333;">y – for your own
personal transformation – responding to what arises from the heart vs the head…
response vs reaction<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">9.
Honoring</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> of what self
needs and what others need simultaneously – creating invitations and requests
vs demands and altermatums.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">WHAT
BLOCKS INTIMACY?</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">1.
Blaming</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – Making it
about someone else.. pointing the finger<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">2.
Making Wrong</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – saying it is
someone else’s fault for……<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">3.
Judging</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – usually words
like.. “should”, ‘shouldn’t” “supposed to”, “out to” are judging words…. this
places the responsibility onto someone else…rather than taking ownership of
what you contributed to the situation. not taking.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">4.
Resistance</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – any pattern
that is not being addressed… usually something that is being avoided due to
fear of what might happened if it was addressed…the unknown.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">5.
Shaming</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – usually comes
when there is a “you should have”… the cousin of “making wrong”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">6.
Dishonesty</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – hiding what
really happened…. even when there is an indicator to speak up…and there is a
tightening in the chest or body somewhere.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">7.
Impatience</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – a timing
thing….sometimes we have different tempos or timing and it is hard to slow down
for some people to really be with what is going on for another… this is vital
to develop in order to create deeper intimacy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">8.
Lack of Awareness</span></b><span style="color: #333333;"> – oblivion to
what is going on for self and others and what you and others maybe feeling,
thinking, needing. This may show up in narcissistic behavior… people who only
can see things from their perspective.. and haven’t developed the skill to see
things from another person’s perspective.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope you have found
these points helpful and will apply them to your life to create deeper
intimacy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With much love to you,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lucia<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-87954152131728244442018-05-11T14:05:00.001-07:002018-05-11T14:19:12.663-07:00My Piano Music<div>
<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjegjv3hqu-cGNdt35YDniriwoDF7yGlyN46zNHmFPNGffSiRHfFUcM5ADzTf-Z1rfykG6VA09BRpQ47N0BC7B6KpHYQHy6zo0oJXvYkfjJOGw5T508kYjn7vLv3BXFzFeospzA6RRqUbiF/s1600/19396714_10154592205307109_5743919835965384439_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="959" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjegjv3hqu-cGNdt35YDniriwoDF7yGlyN46zNHmFPNGffSiRHfFUcM5ADzTf-Z1rfykG6VA09BRpQ47N0BC7B6KpHYQHy6zo0oJXvYkfjJOGw5T508kYjn7vLv3BXFzFeospzA6RRqUbiF/s320/19396714_10154592205307109_5743919835965384439_n.jpg" width="319" /></a></div>
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<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">These are some</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> pieces of music that I created: </span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/lucia-nicola-evans/dynamic-heart">Dynamic Heart</a></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://soundcloud.com/lucia-nicola-evans/sets/lucias-piano-shamanic" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shamanic Journey</a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/lucia-nicola-evans/synergy-by-lucia-nicola-evanswwwmp3-gratiseu-download-free-mp3-2016-04-23-19-39-16-utc">Synergy</a></span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://soundcloud.com/lucia-nicola-evans/expansion"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Expansion</span></a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://soundcloud.com/lucia-nicola-evans/the-playground"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Playground</span></a><br />
<span id="goog_12235494"></span><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/"></a><span id="goog_12235495"></span><br /></div>
lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679075053007016700.post-35259352677244606072018-05-11T13:41:00.000-07:002018-05-11T13:44:36.397-07:00What Feeds My Soul<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieJDSQwIZwNiRldE9PMJyC36kNZbicQmGakTSGT4LL6Kt6cT2EF8sb_vo-qKFncKmK_49Q7Q-ZIO74Yih_zDgRPOxN7J5m3TByy4OYScQcWM1yNlD-7nITWysc_q3nOkIXB1zHSFdgNun2/s1600/light_shine_sun_28240_1920x1200+%25282016_02_01+13_33_31+UTC%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieJDSQwIZwNiRldE9PMJyC36kNZbicQmGakTSGT4LL6Kt6cT2EF8sb_vo-qKFncKmK_49Q7Q-ZIO74Yih_zDgRPOxN7J5m3TByy4OYScQcWM1yNlD-7nITWysc_q3nOkIXB1zHSFdgNun2/s320/light_shine_sun_28240_1920x1200+%25282016_02_01+13_33_31+UTC%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div class="Normal1">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What Feeds My Soul<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What feeds my
soul <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is the pause
between my breath<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">where time
stands still <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">for a split
second<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here I see
everything <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">through magic
lenses<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is as
though someone sprinkled magic dust<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">on everything
around me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I see the
magnificence of the Divine<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">in everything
and everyone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I see the
glimmer in your eye<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">that shows me
what your soul is longing for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is your soul
breathing? or<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is it
suffocating?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is it
connected to the others? or<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is it scared
and unsure who to show it’s radiant magnificence to?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What feeds
your soul?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I invite you
to come into my gaze<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">To experience
what I feel<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And merge with
the magnificence of your radiant being<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What feeds my
soul <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is the light
in your eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When you know
and embody your light<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You are more
beautiful than words can say<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I see the
light in your eyes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I feel the
depth of your longing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As my gaze
meets your longing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And you
receive my love through your gaze,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My soul is
fed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I merge with
you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For it is when
you show me the depth of your longing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">where I feel
most connected to you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am no longer
hungry for anything <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here, I feel
most connected to me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For you are me
and I am you….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We are ONE…….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Experiencing
you as me, and me as you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Feeds my soul.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For
here...there is no separation, no pain, no longing…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Just BEING.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Being me is
the ultimate..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">where I get to
be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In my pure
vulnerability of sharing my soul with you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Where you
receive me in total surrender.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Where you let
me in<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And I let you
in<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There is no
room for fear<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here we have
have touched each others souls forever<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Our lives are
forever changed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For It is your
gaze, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Your gaze of
Eternal Love<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That has
changed me forever<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I know I can
trust your gaze<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">for there are
no lies in your gaze<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">only Divine
Truth, Absolute Truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you for
Trusting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you for
receiving,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you for
sharing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">YourSELF with
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I see you and
love you….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We are
One<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A N D<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am Me! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Simultaneously!
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is the WE.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My soul is fed
by your gaze <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is
reassured and nurtured<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Held forever
in Unconditional Love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am in B L I
S S<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">HOME sweet
HOME<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Where I B e l
o n g.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~Lucia Nicola Evans<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />lucianicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14882631542945751201noreply@blogger.com0