What is Self Responsibility?

What is Self Responsibility?

Posted on November 22, 2014 

Self Responsibility is the Ultimate Freedom! I challenge you to explore and see for yourself.

Self Responsibility is the ability to RESPOND to whatever we CHOOSE to respond to. Being self responsible gives us the ability to choose how we want to respond to any given person or situation. The POWER OF CHOICE is the key.

What are you choosing in your life? What are you aware of that you are choosing and what are you unaware of that is showing up in your life that is demanding your attention? Take a moment and look closely. Your life is a direct reflection of you. Where are you taking responsibility in your life? Where are you not taking responsibility for your life? Where do you need to take more responsibility…… where is there unresolved stuff?

So one of the ways to know if you are not taking responsibility for your life is if you are blaming, shaming, judging and criticizing others and yourself.  One way to shift this pattern is to start really monitoring your inner dialogue. What are you telling yourself? How are you treating yourself? What words are you choosing?

Our words are very powerful – they create our reality. So we get to choose wisely to what words we are using since they have energy to them.. each word we choose has a specific frequency and the word becomes more potent when we align the word up with our feelings… this is where the true power comes from. When we align our words up with our feelings, and share what we feel with authenticity, then watch out…….Notice what happens any how people respond to you as you choose your words wisely and connect the word with the feeling and share your experience using I statements… I feel, I notice… I need…I really want…. I am frustrating myself around……I am triggering myself with…..I just need some down time….I am really happy since I …….I am so appreciate you for…..etc.

Self Responsible Guidelines.

1. I seek to understand others first, especially when there are differences.

2. I am responsible for how I hold my feelings and perspectives, not anyone else.

3. I understand when someone is sharing his or her perspective, they are telling me about them NOT about me, which makes my defensiveness less likely to be activated, so I can listen with my heart rather than justify why I am right and the other person is wrong.

4. When someone thinks and acts a certain way and it makes perfect sense to them, I would very likely think and act the same way too if I was in their situation.

5. When I feel the need to fix someone else, instead of using “you should”…… I will choose to respond by sharing what I notice and how I feel about the situation using words like I think, I feel.

6. Realizing that I am not all knowing helps me to stay humble in the way I communicate, which helps create an atmosphere of openness and co-operation.

7. I speak and listen from my heart and the deeper knowing of my being.

8. I embrace what is alive in me. For example, if I am feeling jealousy… I make friends with jealousy, by having a conversation with it to find out what it needs. I may draw it out on paper or move jealousy with my body…so it has a way to feel expressed. This helps me express it vs depress it.

9. I commit to BEING LOVE, sharing love and receive love. When I am in doubt I ask…What would love do? and I listen for the answer.

Taking 100% responsibility for everything we create in our lives can seem like a big deal and it is. And yet, until we do, we won’t be able to truly change and grow with power and purpose. We won’t feel unified as equals, safe to truly be ourselves and liberated as individuals.

Taking a STAND for being self responsible is the best gift we can give yourselves and the world. By  choosing to respond to our life, taking responsibility for our thoughts, our feelings and our actions, then we free ourselves of blame and victimization – this is what true power is, taking full ownership for our part.

Thank you for doing your part. I appreciate you taking a stand in aligning with your integrity and purpose and for making a difference in your life. Everyone benefits from you consciously choosing your words and your life.

Please feel free to let me know what you notice while putting your awareness to practice.

In Loving Service to you,

Lucia Nicola Evans

“Be the Change you want to SEE in the world” Gandhi.

From Turmoil to Peace

From Turmoil to Peace

Posted on May 26, 2015 

My whole life I have tried to make sense of this human experience. What it is that I need to learn as I evolve and get older. I have come to realize that it is very simple, and yet not so easy to do all the time.

For the past week, as I am an empath, I have been feeling the collective field very deeply. I have been feeling deep deep pain. Our world no doubt is in extreme turmoil. There is a lot of devastation going on right now that is challenging for us. How are economy is, to our environment, to how we treat each other.

I often ask myself what can I do to help this world? I don’t feel like I am doing enough.

I woke up today again asking, what is it that I need to be focusing on to help our world, our people, our environment? What is really important right now?

Then it dawned on me. The best thing I can do to help is to BE at PEACE within myself in this very moment and allow my inner knowing, my inner guidance, grace –  to show me from moment to moment where I need to go with this feeling of peace. To have a loving conscious relationship with myself. This requires me to slow down and really listen. That is another blog I will write soon. How to really LISTEN.

It is so easy to worry – worrying about how to make money, worrying about the world and about our future. Worrying about our future does not bring peace. Being in the present moment brings peace. And this moment is so so so precious. I have the power to bring my attention back to this moment and each moment with a simple breath to restore peace once again.

The great news is, by coming back to peace, I am creating a new experience for myself in the field of turmoil and  gloom and doom.

I am creating an experience for the possibility where I can NOW create space to create something NEW. You may be asking, how do I do that?

Well, it is very simple. Bring your focus back to the breath and realize that each moment is just as it needs to be in order for the next moment to unfold. Accept things as they are in each moment.. and notice what you are feeling. Are you really allowing yourself to feel the feelings or are you resisting them? To feel the feelings – allow yourself time and space – slow down and make time to have important quality conversations. Get support from friends that you trust. To dissolve the resistance, lean into it. Find out what the resistance needs. What are you resisting? Can you define it? Where are you feeling the resistance in your body? Notice how you are breathing. This is the discovery work that I do with clients – exploring what is in the way of feeling and being at PEACE.

Feeling the feelings restores peace. Having truthful loving conversations with others to share what is real for you restores peace. Avoiding and resisting what is creates more turmoil. This  turmoil with eventually show up in your body as tension or some sort of dis-ease. The only thing that is really trust worthy is to come from my inner knowings and becoming aware of what it is saying to me.  I don’t need to know about the next moment. If I can live my life in the flow of each moment, then I am living in alignment with Peace.

I realized the last week I have been putting a lot of PRESSURE on myself to create some sort of plan in order for others to understand more about what I am doing in my work. I realized that the information will come as soon as I release the pressure. For the pressure is just creating more turmoil inside about what I think I should be doing. And this does not feel at all peaceful. This feels judgmental.

Being peaceful inside has so many benefits. I get to have more fun because I am more relaxed. I get to notice more. We live in such a beautiful world. Yes, there are some really depressing things, no doubt about it. I just watch a movie called “Tomorrow Land” . It shows a more positive future for us. It is worth seeing.

What are you choosing to put your attention on? The hopelessness and despair of the world or the beauty of knowing that you can be at peace within and come from a place of love for yourself, for our world and for each other.

What will you do for peace? What are you willing to take a stand for? What is your heart longing for? Are you willing to die for it? Who will you ask to be on your team?

We have an opportunity here right now in our world. We have an opportunity to remember that peace within, get connected, align ourselves with our values and live this with each moment of each day.

I take a stand for SUSTAINABLE GLOBAL CHANGE through loving each moment as it arises from a loving, centered, grounded and connected place.

I take a stand for PEACE, by returning to my breath when I am upset and putting pressure on myself.

I take a stand for LOVE, and asking for support when I need it.

I take a stand for COMMUNITY, for receiving SUPPORT when it is too much for me to handle by myself.

I take a stand for being AVAILABLE to those in need that are willing to take responsibility for their part. I am here for you.

I take a stand for BEING PRESENT to each moment where I have the opportunity to come back to my Heart, to my Being, to PEACE so I can create a foundation to PLAY from.

I have found a formula that works really well for me to sustain peace. I hope it helps you in your life.

GRACE is my guide. Grace is generated by POWER. Power is sparked by my INTENTION. And my Intention is fed by LOVE.

Blessings and Peace to you all.

In loving Service to you.  Lucia Nicola

The Importance of your Inner Life

The Importance of your Inner Life

Posted on December 24, 2015 

 What is your inner life?

Most of us have gotten really good at accomplishing our to do lists and are focused on doing things every day – this is our outer life.

This is important… and yet you will get burned out if you don’t create time to focus on your inner life. I know this to be true since it happened to me. I was a full time massage therapist for 9 years and realized that one day I just couldn’t continue any more and be true to myself and my wellbeing. I was exhausted. I needed to learn how to really make myself a priority and focus more on my inner life which I did and feel much better today and can now be there for others in a whole new way.

Your inner life is the place where you go when you put your focus on you. Some questions to ponder.

When you close your eyes what is your attention focusing on?

How Self Aware are you?

What are your thinking?

What are you telling yourself?

How are you feeling? what are you feeling? where in your body are you feeling it?

Are you stressed? what about?

Are you relaxed?

How much time are you making to decompress from your day?

Are you meditating?

Are you allowing yourself time to just be?

Do you spend time outside in nature regularly to recharge?

What are you doing to feed your inner life and recharge your energy naturally?

You inner life reflects your outer life. Our inner life is really indicative on how much time we take for self care.

How do we shift our consciousness to responding with compassion and non-judgment when we are in constant conflict with ourselves.

How can we learn to honor ourselves and each other simultaneously and live on behave of the whole?

If you don’t look inside and shift what isn’t aligned with your truth, your integrity your personal values, than who will it be? Who will do it for you?

What will it look like to be true to yourself? what does this even mean?

Are you willing to change – and focus on your inner world to change your outer world?

As Gandhi so well put, “Be the change you want to see in the world”.

We are evolving and growing all the time.

The human race is at a paradigm shift right now in our evolution. It is really up to each one of us to make the choice to change the rules so they align with our own truth… where we create the internal stamina to see things through to the end with peace and sled-liberation and love for ourselves and each other.

How do we deal with the violence and injustice of the world?

We turn inward and learn how to respond with compassion and love, verses judgment and fear by practicing self compassion and love.

Is it possible to respect all sides… the ones fighting against each other. What are people really fighting for? to get their way? What doesn’t make any sense is that they are really fighting themselves… when we all get this… then we will learn to respect each other more… because we will learn to respect ourselves by turning inward and resolving the conflicts inside to effect the outside world.

What power do you listen to? is it inside or outside of you? By making time feed your inner world your outer world becomes richer and more fulfilling.

Dear Hearts, to enrich your inner life…. start meditating and sitting quietly for 30 minutes every day. Let go of anything you don’t need any more… breathe deeply and allow your exhale to take all the things you don’t want any more with it… just let go and start to forgive those around you for any harm they have done.

To become more congruent with your inner life, make a list of all the things you know you need to do and haven’t done that is aligned with what you know intuitively, but you keep putting it off. Find out what is holding you back from doing these things…..get support…. set goals and deadlines for yourself or find an accountability friend to motivate you and hold you accountable to finish what you start.

Ask yourself – How can I become more empathetic to the needs of the people and the world? What can I do TODAY to support me feeling empowered on how I live my life that is authentic and grounded? It may just be how to manage your thoughts better and be more present to those around you with an open heart.

I take a stand for Peace, Harmony and Compassion… where we can learned to feel balanced in our inner life and thus have a balanced outer life. Seek to understand others first.. and this brings a deeper connection and rapport to one another.. where we can become more authentic with one another.

I am here with you to serve you and guide you through this crisis that we are in right now… to remember the importance of the inner life when things get overwhelmed is of great importance to our survival.

You can contact me at relationshipnavigator@gmail.com with any questions or visit my website at www.lovingconsciousrelationships.com

Thanks and blessing to you and your wellbeing.

And remember, make time for fun with yourself!

Lucia Nicola Evans