The Difference Between Divine Love and Programmed Love

The Difference Between Divine Love and Programmed Love

Posted on June 29, 2015 

Hi There Beloveds,

I just went through some intense feelings of severe confusion to discover this clarity. I am inspired to write it now because it in still very fresh for me. I know many of you will resonate with what I am saying.

So I was getting super confused about what Being In Love really meant. Someone shared with me yesterday how being in love to him meant loosing his sense of self in another person. I find this fascinating because Being in love for me is gaining my self of self with another. To me, all there is that I know from my being, is Love. Love is our natural state of being and therefore has no association with human meaning as a concept or programming. Yet, many associate Being In Love with romantic or programmed actions or feelings and an identification what we think it is from previous expectations or assumptions. So being in love is not something you can understand or figure out from our programmed beliefs and constructs, from our mind. Being in love, is eternal, forever  – if it is coming from Divine Intelligence… something greater than our programmed beliefs and constructs.

Being in  Divine Love is not conditional… meaning it doesn’t change depending on external circumstances – it is constant and it cannot be threatened. If someone is having a bad day.. I don’t love them any less for them having a bad day or if they lash out at me. I send compassion and love their way.

It is our purpose to evolve into this Divine Love….We grow and deepen and eventually come to realize that all there is to come back to is love. Divine love never goes away. This is how to really experience total acceptance where there is no pain and suffering… just a state of BEING IN LOVE.

Programmed Love on the other hand comes and goes.. and pain is then felt from the identification of this impermanence of such love. Feeling the separation of the lack of love is not fun. This causes us excruciating pain and suffering in our hearts and beings – we feel things like.. not feeling wanted, needed, safe… feelings of rejection surface since we put so much meaning to it these things. Then we shut down because it feels threatening to keep our hearts open due to the constant changeability of programmed love.

Divine Love just is. It is not associated with anything other than Being itself. Being is constant… it is not changeable.

When we take time to BE…what is the overall feeling? relaxed right? So when we are relaxed, we are aligned with Divine Love. When we are upset and triggered we are coming from programmed love… we go into expectation and assumptions and disappointments and wounding etc.

Because Divine love just is….. there is nowhere it isn’t. It is in this sense without meaning. So there way out of pain and suffering is to let go into the flow and be in the issues of being… a state that is too vast to be understood by the human mind… it is only understood by our experience of this now moment. A total full experience of what is right now, where there is no thought, no judgement, no emotional suffering – just being.

What will you do…there are two options.

Accept what is OR Resist what is. What are you choosing? Today I rode he wave of accepting my confusion.. it was initially painful and uncomfortable.. then the skies cleared and I found a deeper understanding. I am so grateful for this discovery.

An Action Step you can do – Something that will help you be in Divine Love more… is taking consistent time to go inward and relax into the moment..into just being – come back to your senses.. how are you feeling.. what are you feeling in your body? does your body have something to tell you? what are you hearing? Can you feel the rhythm of your breath? You can go to the beach and use the rhythm of the waves to bring you into a state of relaxation or put on some relaxing words that doesn't have words – take 20 to 30 mins of quiet time to JUST BE daily – see what you discover. What is the essence of you? can you feel it? I would love to hear your discoveries.

Feel free to email me at relationshipnavigator@gmail.com

Being In love and Service with you.

Lucia Nicola

The Importance of your Inner Life

The Importance of your Inner Life

Posted on December 24, 2015 

 What is your inner life?

Most of us have gotten really good at accomplishing our to do lists and are focused on doing things every day – this is our outer life.

This is important… and yet you will get burned out if you don’t create time to focus on your inner life. I know this to be true since it happened to me. I was a full time massage therapist for 9 years and realized that one day I just couldn’t continue any more and be true to myself and my wellbeing. I was exhausted. I needed to learn how to really make myself a priority and focus more on my inner life which I did and feel much better today and can now be there for others in a whole new way.

Your inner life is the place where you go when you put your focus on you. Some questions to ponder.

When you close your eyes what is your attention focusing on?

How Self Aware are you?

What are your thinking?

What are you telling yourself?

How are you feeling? what are you feeling? where in your body are you feeling it?

Are you stressed? what about?

Are you relaxed?

How much time are you making to decompress from your day?

Are you meditating?

Are you allowing yourself time to just be?

Do you spend time outside in nature regularly to recharge?

What are you doing to feed your inner life and recharge your energy naturally?

You inner life reflects your outer life. Our inner life is really indicative on how much time we take for self care.

How do we shift our consciousness to responding with compassion and non-judgment when we are in constant conflict with ourselves.

How can we learn to honor ourselves and each other simultaneously and live on behave of the whole?

If you don’t look inside and shift what isn’t aligned with your truth, your integrity your personal values, than who will it be? Who will do it for you?

What will it look like to be true to yourself? what does this even mean?

Are you willing to change – and focus on your inner world to change your outer world?

As Gandhi so well put, “Be the change you want to see in the world”.

We are evolving and growing all the time.

The human race is at a paradigm shift right now in our evolution. It is really up to each one of us to make the choice to change the rules so they align with our own truth… where we create the internal stamina to see things through to the end with peace and sled-liberation and love for ourselves and each other.

How do we deal with the violence and injustice of the world?

We turn inward and learn how to respond with compassion and love, verses judgment and fear by practicing self compassion and love.

Is it possible to respect all sides… the ones fighting against each other. What are people really fighting for? to get their way? What doesn’t make any sense is that they are really fighting themselves… when we all get this… then we will learn to respect each other more… because we will learn to respect ourselves by turning inward and resolving the conflicts inside to effect the outside world.

What power do you listen to? is it inside or outside of you? By making time feed your inner world your outer world becomes richer and more fulfilling.

Dear Hearts, to enrich your inner life…. start meditating and sitting quietly for 30 minutes every day. Let go of anything you don’t need any more… breathe deeply and allow your exhale to take all the things you don’t want any more with it… just let go and start to forgive those around you for any harm they have done.

To become more congruent with your inner life, make a list of all the things you know you need to do and haven’t done that is aligned with what you know intuitively, but you keep putting it off. Find out what is holding you back from doing these things…..get support…. set goals and deadlines for yourself or find an accountability friend to motivate you and hold you accountable to finish what you start.

Ask yourself – How can I become more empathetic to the needs of the people and the world? What can I do TODAY to support me feeling empowered on how I live my life that is authentic and grounded? It may just be how to manage your thoughts better and be more present to those around you with an open heart.

I take a stand for Peace, Harmony and Compassion… where we can learned to feel balanced in our inner life and thus have a balanced outer life. Seek to understand others first.. and this brings a deeper connection and rapport to one another.. where we can become more authentic with one another.

I am here with you to serve you and guide you through this crisis that we are in right now… to remember the importance of the inner life when things get overwhelmed is of great importance to our survival.

You can contact me at relationshipnavigator@gmail.com with any questions or visit my website at www.lovingconsciousrelationships.com

Thanks and blessing to you and your wellbeing.

And remember, make time for fun with yourself!

Lucia Nicola Evans

Sex: Surrendering Into Pleasure

Sex: Surrendering Into Pleasure

Posted on February 14, 2016 by luciaevans

Sex is a hot topic for most of us, it is for me. I am a very passionate person. I love sex. I love making love even more. I love feeling close, skin on skin, and being intimate with someone I am attracted to, where we can share pleasure and be sensual together. Not too long ago, I felt ashamed for having such intense feelings of sexual desire. I denied myself my own pleasure as a woman for fear of losing control and being too much, too wild. I thought if I was too much, I may not get the love and attention I so longed for. I didn’t know how to talk about sex and was embarrassed to share my fantasies.

I didn’t really know how to let go of being in charge…

I was scared of the power my sexuality seemed to have over me. It seemed like a power, bigger than me would just take over. I didn’t know how to manage my sexual energy. I so longed to feel pleasure with my partner and be “taken” by him. Yet, I didn’t really know how to let go of being in charge, so I could give him the opportunity to truly make love to me.

It scared me to relinquish control. I didn’t think my partner would be able to hold a strong enough space for me. I had fears of him judging me and abandoning me for being too wild.

How did I go from relinquishing control to surrendering into pleasure you might be asking?

I found a man who was willing to play with me and be present with me, someone who I had really great sexual chemistry with. We were totally honest about our fantasies, our needs and our desires. We made time to touch each other and look into each other’s eyes with undivided attention.

The most important part of surrendering into pleasure for me was creating a solid place of trust. Setting mutual agreements that felt honoring for both of us was key to creating trust. The more quality time I spent with my partner, the more I felt safe to surrender into pleasure.

The more I felt safe to relax, the more pleasure I was able to feel.

As I surrendered into pleasure little by little, I deepened my trust with my partner. The more I felt safe to relax, the more pleasure I was able to feel. We synchronized our energies with cuddling and slow erotic massages. Sometimes fears would come up, I mentioned to my partner that anytime I needed to have an emotional release, all he needed to do was BE with me in the feeling. There was no need for words, just for him to hold a solid, loving space for me to move through my tears.The more I gave myself permission to feel my feelings, the more space there was for me to give and receive pleasure. We fed on each others pleasure, pleasuring each other for hours.

Now, I feel I have a deeper and more loving relationship, not just with my partner, but most importantly, with myself.

I love being a woman now. I embrace my sexuality and my femininity and love getting all juiced up for my partner. I feel so grateful that I had and continue to have the courage and willingness to feel my feelings. Now, I feel I have a deeper and more loving relationship, not just with my partner, but most importantly, with myself. I am my own lover and best friend and have found a partner to share this with, where we pleasure each other beyond just intercourse. We pleasure each other with a glance or a touch. I wish this quality of connection and intimacy for everyone. It is truly divine to share pleasure in this way.

In The Dark

In The Dark

Posted on February 24, 2015 by luciaevans

So, I have felt in the dark regarding a previous relationship. What have I done to shed light on the unknown and the concern? How have I dealt with being in the dark?

To stop the cycle of feeding the dark.. the manipulative, evil energies – The dark feeds on the dark. And feels threatened by the light.. so the trick is to feed the dark with the light so the dark is no longer being fed. The light will dissolve the darkness over time.

I went through some ugly things with a previous relationship… that involved lawyers and court and things that are just no fun at all. Now…the whole time I was saying to myself… and to everyone…. let the result be in the highest good for all…..sending light to the darkness….light and love.

Sometimes it is hard to know how things are going to turn out.. especially when there is so much invested, time, emotions, energy, love….so much invested. It is always an invitation to us… how much can we let go… and can we come back to love…even if we feel wronged or if we don’t feel honored or respected or that justice was served? Can we come back to love?

Is it really worth the fight? Can we be stronger than the dark… can we shed light on the places where it needs it most? what is that for you in your life? What needs light and love? Where do you feel left in the dark? Can you soften… and bring light into that space? Can you be with the darkness.. and feel into it…. into its uncertainty… into its scary places? I encourage you, no matter what darkness you are experiencing… come back home… come back to love. Pause, Breath, Relax… back to love…. surround yourself with light…. expand it beyond your body….let it fill the whole room… then go further… allow the light to fill the city… then the county.. then all the countries.. and then the entire planet.. and even beyond the planet into space… send out light beyond even where you can imagine…..you are powerful and you make a difference by each thought you have, each feeling you feel, each action you take, create ripples of energy out into space. You are powerful. Keep focusing on what you want to happen…really feel the outcome…… and it will happen.

It did with me….I was able to return back to love with my ex-partner after all the lawyers and court stuff….Thank you – this is truly a miracle.

This is from my book I am currently writing “Once I allowed myself to step into the unknown and give myself permission to let go, doors started opening and all sorts of things became available to me. It was as if I was living in a land of magic where spontenaity resides and sychronicities happen all the time. Actually, it was when I was aware of the sychronicities when I knew I was on track”

With love as Always,

Lucia Nicola

Intimacy – What creates Intimacy, What blocks Intimacy

Intimacy – What creates Intimacy, What blocks Intimacy

Posted on December 5, 2014 by luciaevans

WHAT CREATES INTIMACY?

1. Transparent, Honest Communication – sharing what is real, maybe even feeling it and being authentic about how you are feeling. Admitting your fears and  having courage to face your fears.

2. Integrity to One’s True Self – aligning what is important – your core values-to how you live in relationship with self and other.

3. Awareness – being curious  and mindful about what is ……and letting go of expectations of how things “should be”. Being choiceful of the words you use to connect vs disconnect.

4. Open Heart – being patient and loving with the process what self and others are feeling, developing emotional intelligence, learning what is means to be compassionate and empathetic for self and others

5. Willingness – to be available to work things through no matter what…a certain commitment.. using phrases like… How can I support you? What do you need in order to feel resolve?

6. Mutual Understanding – learning to listen to self and others to understand vs be right – where there is then a benefit for all involved.

7. Being Real with what is in the moment – Admitting your own feelings and giving yourself permission to feel them and share them with those who are important to you at any given moment

8. Self Responsibility –  for your own personal transformation – responding to what arises from the heart vs the head… response vs reaction

9. Honoring of what self needs and what others need simultaneously – creating invitations and requests vs demands and altermatums.

WHAT BLOCKS INTIMACY?

1. Blaming – Making it about someone else.. pointing the finger

2. Making Wrong – saying it is someone else’s fault for……

3. Judging – usually words like.. “should”, ‘shouldn’t” “supposed to”, “out to” are judging words…. this places the responsibility onto someone else…rather than taking ownership of what you contributed to the situation. not taking.

4. Resistance – any pattern that is not being addressed… usually something that is being avoided due to fear of what might happened if it was addressed…the unknown.

5. Shaming – usually comes when there is a “you should have”… the cousin of “making wrong”

6. Dishonesty – hiding what really happened…. even when there is an indicator to speak up…and there is a tightening in the chest or body somewhere.

7. Impatience – a timing thing….sometimes we have different tempos or timing and it is hard to slow down for some people to really be with what is going on for another… this is vital to develop in order to create deeper intimacy.

8. Lack of Awareness – oblivion to what is going on for self and others and what you and others maybe feeling, thinking, needing. This may show up in narcissistic behavior… people who only can see things from their perspective.. and haven’t developed the skill to see things from another person’s perspective.

I hope you have found these points helpful and will apply them to your life to create deeper intimacy.

With much love to you,

Lucia

What Feeds My Soul

What Feeds My Soul

What feeds my soul

Is the pause between my breath

where time stands still

for a split second

Here I see everything

through magic lenses

It is as though someone sprinkled magic dust

on everything around me.

I see the magnificence of the Divine

in everything and everyone

I see the glimmer in your eye

that shows me what your soul is longing for.

Is your soul breathing? or

Is it suffocating?

Is it connected to the others? or

Is it scared and unsure who to show it’s radiant magnificence to?

What feeds your soul?

I invite you to come into my gaze

To experience what I feel

And merge with the magnificence of your radiant being

What feeds my soul

Is the light in your eyes.

When you know and embody your light

You are more beautiful than words can say

When I see the light in your eyes

I feel the depth of your longing.

As my gaze meets your longing

And you receive my love through your gaze,

My soul is fed.

I merge with you.

For it is when you show me the depth of your longing

where I feel most connected to you

I am no longer hungry for anything

Here, I feel most connected to me

For you are me and I am you….

We are ONE…….

Experiencing you as me, and me as you

Feeds my soul.

For here...there is no separation, no pain, no longing…

Just BEING.

Being me is the ultimate..

where I get to be

In my pure vulnerability of sharing my soul with you.

Where you receive me in total surrender.

Where you let me in

And I let you in

There is no room for fear

Here we have have touched each others souls forever

Our lives are forever changed

For It is your gaze,

Your gaze of Eternal Love

That has changed me forever

I know I can trust your gaze

for there are no lies in your gaze

only Divine Truth, Absolute Truth.

Thank you for Trusting.

Thank you for receiving,

Thank you for sharing

YourSELF with me.

I see you and love you….

We are One 

A N D 

I am Me!

Simultaneously!

It is the WE.

My soul is fed by your gaze

It is reassured and nurtured

Held forever in Unconditional Love.  

I am in B L I S S 

HOME sweet HOME

Where I B e l o n g.

~Lucia Nicola Evans