The Power of Choice

The Power of Choice

Posted on December 13, 2014 by luciaevans

GREAT NEWS!!!!

At any moment we have the power to choose something NEW.

We have THE POWER TO CHOOSE a NEW REALITY with each moment, with each breath. Yes, it is that simple. We have the power to CHOOSE how we respond to ourselves and each other.

I want to encourage you to slow down and choose to take a stand. Take a stand for yourself for love. Take a stand to love yourself first. I want to encourage you to be your own safety net. Be who you want others to be. Write a list of those attributes, qualities. Now put I am in front of each attribute  and become those very things you want others to be. Radiate these qualities.. share these qualities with those around you… inspire and encourage people who need support…. share your love and appreciation with those who are struggling… give someone a hug, a smile, send someone a card to let them know how much you care about them and appreciate them.

Choose to share your heart and love with those around you after sharing it with yourself first.

Say I LOVE YOU to yourself… say it many times a day… and then start saying it to those people around you.. even the ones you don’t know…. just start saying I LOVE YOU. You are important! You matter!

With each breath you have a new choice – Matt Kahn started a LOVE REVOLUTION and in one of his tube video’s – “Your Divine Nature” – https://www.youtube.com/user/JulieMuse he says,

“Use the breath to say I love you to you…..with this one breath, I give it to creating harmony, peace resolve for all hearts, to wiping out the history of persecution and violence, to purifying all lands, creating abundance where all will thrive and prosper and share their gifts”

Allow yourself time to stop and regroup. BREATHE… ask yourself:

1. What am I ready to let go of that is no longer serving my highest good?

2. What would I like to create NOW that I am aligned with?

3. What do I need to shift, and put into ACTION TODAY in order to make this a reality? Who do I need to call? What do I need to do? or What do I need to become?

Remember – each thought you think creates an energetic wave, that emits a certain frequency, which  ultimately creates your reality as you know it. Energy flows where attention goes.  When you put your attention on something, even a thought, energy flows there.

So, CHOOSE your thoughts WISELY… Let go of the self defeating thoughts RIGHT NOW!!! CHOOSE to refocus your attention to the thoughts that are helpful for your expansion ….say thank you for sharing to those thoughts that are self defeating…. and refocus and shift to thinking thoughts that are supportive to you moving forward powerfully. I am a powerful manifested. I know I can create whatever I want. I believe in myself. Wow… I really can do anything I want.. what will that be? Dare to dream BIG and/or show up in each moment with presence and share love and kindness to someone in need of love.. which is all of us!

What thoughts do you need to think in order to make a reality that is in alignment with what serves you AND the highest good of all. Write a list of your top 6 VALUES so you know what to align your thought up with. What is important to you and where are you choosing to put your attention each day! 

Know our attention is the most valuable commodity we have access to – make time to CHOOSE POWERFULLY.. not just for you – for all beings around you! Everyone is impacted by what you choose…everyone.

What are you CHOOSING to think? and What thoughts are you willing to change?

With love and appreciation to you for taking time to CHOOSE POWERFULLY & WISELY,

Lucia Nicola

“Be the Change you want to see in the world.’ Gandhi

From Turmoil to Peace

From Turmoil to Peace

Posted on May 26, 2015 

My whole life I have tried to make sense of this human experience. What it is that I need to learn as I evolve and get older. I have come to realize that it is very simple, and yet not so easy to do all the time.

For the past week, as I am an empath, I have been feeling the collective field very deeply. I have been feeling deep deep pain. Our world no doubt is in extreme turmoil. There is a lot of devastation going on right now that is challenging for us. How are economy is, to our environment, to how we treat each other.

I often ask myself what can I do to help this world? I don’t feel like I am doing enough.

I woke up today again asking, what is it that I need to be focusing on to help our world, our people, our environment? What is really important right now?

Then it dawned on me. The best thing I can do to help is to BE at PEACE within myself in this very moment and allow my inner knowing, my inner guidance, grace –  to show me from moment to moment where I need to go with this feeling of peace. To have a loving conscious relationship with myself. This requires me to slow down and really listen. That is another blog I will write soon. How to really LISTEN.

It is so easy to worry – worrying about how to make money, worrying about the world and about our future. Worrying about our future does not bring peace. Being in the present moment brings peace. And this moment is so so so precious. I have the power to bring my attention back to this moment and each moment with a simple breath to restore peace once again.

The great news is, by coming back to peace, I am creating a new experience for myself in the field of turmoil and  gloom and doom.

I am creating an experience for the possibility where I can NOW create space to create something NEW. You may be asking, how do I do that?

Well, it is very simple. Bring your focus back to the breath and realize that each moment is just as it needs to be in order for the next moment to unfold. Accept things as they are in each moment.. and notice what you are feeling. Are you really allowing yourself to feel the feelings or are you resisting them? To feel the feelings – allow yourself time and space – slow down and make time to have important quality conversations. Get support from friends that you trust. To dissolve the resistance, lean into it. Find out what the resistance needs. What are you resisting? Can you define it? Where are you feeling the resistance in your body? Notice how you are breathing. This is the discovery work that I do with clients – exploring what is in the way of feeling and being at PEACE.

Feeling the feelings restores peace. Having truthful loving conversations with others to share what is real for you restores peace. Avoiding and resisting what is creates more turmoil. This  turmoil with eventually show up in your body as tension or some sort of dis-ease. The only thing that is really trust worthy is to come from my inner knowings and becoming aware of what it is saying to me.  I don’t need to know about the next moment. If I can live my life in the flow of each moment, then I am living in alignment with Peace.

I realized the last week I have been putting a lot of PRESSURE on myself to create some sort of plan in order for others to understand more about what I am doing in my work. I realized that the information will come as soon as I release the pressure. For the pressure is just creating more turmoil inside about what I think I should be doing. And this does not feel at all peaceful. This feels judgmental.

Being peaceful inside has so many benefits. I get to have more fun because I am more relaxed. I get to notice more. We live in such a beautiful world. Yes, there are some really depressing things, no doubt about it. I just watch a movie called “Tomorrow Land” . It shows a more positive future for us. It is worth seeing.

What are you choosing to put your attention on? The hopelessness and despair of the world or the beauty of knowing that you can be at peace within and come from a place of love for yourself, for our world and for each other.

What will you do for peace? What are you willing to take a stand for? What is your heart longing for? Are you willing to die for it? Who will you ask to be on your team?

We have an opportunity here right now in our world. We have an opportunity to remember that peace within, get connected, align ourselves with our values and live this with each moment of each day.

I take a stand for SUSTAINABLE GLOBAL CHANGE through loving each moment as it arises from a loving, centered, grounded and connected place.

I take a stand for PEACE, by returning to my breath when I am upset and putting pressure on myself.

I take a stand for LOVE, and asking for support when I need it.

I take a stand for COMMUNITY, for receiving SUPPORT when it is too much for me to handle by myself.

I take a stand for being AVAILABLE to those in need that are willing to take responsibility for their part. I am here for you.

I take a stand for BEING PRESENT to each moment where I have the opportunity to come back to my Heart, to my Being, to PEACE so I can create a foundation to PLAY from.

I have found a formula that works really well for me to sustain peace. I hope it helps you in your life.

GRACE is my guide. Grace is generated by POWER. Power is sparked by my INTENTION. And my Intention is fed by LOVE.

Blessings and Peace to you all.

In loving Service to you.  Lucia Nicola

The Difference Between Divine Love and Programmed Love

The Difference Between Divine Love and Programmed Love

Posted on June 29, 2015 

Hi There Beloveds,

I just went through some intense feelings of severe confusion to discover this clarity. I am inspired to write it now because it in still very fresh for me. I know many of you will resonate with what I am saying.

So I was getting super confused about what Being In Love really meant. Someone shared with me yesterday how being in love to him meant loosing his sense of self in another person. I find this fascinating because Being in love for me is gaining my self of self with another. To me, all there is that I know from my being, is Love. Love is our natural state of being and therefore has no association with human meaning as a concept or programming. Yet, many associate Being In Love with romantic or programmed actions or feelings and an identification what we think it is from previous expectations or assumptions. So being in love is not something you can understand or figure out from our programmed beliefs and constructs, from our mind. Being in love, is eternal, forever  – if it is coming from Divine Intelligence… something greater than our programmed beliefs and constructs.

Being in  Divine Love is not conditional… meaning it doesn’t change depending on external circumstances – it is constant and it cannot be threatened. If someone is having a bad day.. I don’t love them any less for them having a bad day or if they lash out at me. I send compassion and love their way.

It is our purpose to evolve into this Divine Love….We grow and deepen and eventually come to realize that all there is to come back to is love. Divine love never goes away. This is how to really experience total acceptance where there is no pain and suffering… just a state of BEING IN LOVE.

Programmed Love on the other hand comes and goes.. and pain is then felt from the identification of this impermanence of such love. Feeling the separation of the lack of love is not fun. This causes us excruciating pain and suffering in our hearts and beings – we feel things like.. not feeling wanted, needed, safe… feelings of rejection surface since we put so much meaning to it these things. Then we shut down because it feels threatening to keep our hearts open due to the constant changeability of programmed love.

Divine Love just is. It is not associated with anything other than Being itself. Being is constant… it is not changeable.

When we take time to BE…what is the overall feeling? relaxed right? So when we are relaxed, we are aligned with Divine Love. When we are upset and triggered we are coming from programmed love… we go into expectation and assumptions and disappointments and wounding etc.

Because Divine love just is….. there is nowhere it isn’t. It is in this sense without meaning. So there way out of pain and suffering is to let go into the flow and be in the issues of being… a state that is too vast to be understood by the human mind… it is only understood by our experience of this now moment. A total full experience of what is right now, where there is no thought, no judgement, no emotional suffering – just being.

What will you do…there are two options.

Accept what is OR Resist what is. What are you choosing? Today I rode he wave of accepting my confusion.. it was initially painful and uncomfortable.. then the skies cleared and I found a deeper understanding. I am so grateful for this discovery.

An Action Step you can do – Something that will help you be in Divine Love more… is taking consistent time to go inward and relax into the moment..into just being – come back to your senses.. how are you feeling.. what are you feeling in your body? does your body have something to tell you? what are you hearing? Can you feel the rhythm of your breath? You can go to the beach and use the rhythm of the waves to bring you into a state of relaxation or put on some relaxing words that doesn't have words – take 20 to 30 mins of quiet time to JUST BE daily – see what you discover. What is the essence of you? can you feel it? I would love to hear your discoveries.

Feel free to email me at relationshipnavigator@gmail.com

Being In love and Service with you.

Lucia Nicola

The Importance of your Inner Life

The Importance of your Inner Life

Posted on December 24, 2015 

 What is your inner life?

Most of us have gotten really good at accomplishing our to do lists and are focused on doing things every day – this is our outer life.

This is important… and yet you will get burned out if you don’t create time to focus on your inner life. I know this to be true since it happened to me. I was a full time massage therapist for 9 years and realized that one day I just couldn’t continue any more and be true to myself and my wellbeing. I was exhausted. I needed to learn how to really make myself a priority and focus more on my inner life which I did and feel much better today and can now be there for others in a whole new way.

Your inner life is the place where you go when you put your focus on you. Some questions to ponder.

When you close your eyes what is your attention focusing on?

How Self Aware are you?

What are your thinking?

What are you telling yourself?

How are you feeling? what are you feeling? where in your body are you feeling it?

Are you stressed? what about?

Are you relaxed?

How much time are you making to decompress from your day?

Are you meditating?

Are you allowing yourself time to just be?

Do you spend time outside in nature regularly to recharge?

What are you doing to feed your inner life and recharge your energy naturally?

You inner life reflects your outer life. Our inner life is really indicative on how much time we take for self care.

How do we shift our consciousness to responding with compassion and non-judgment when we are in constant conflict with ourselves.

How can we learn to honor ourselves and each other simultaneously and live on behave of the whole?

If you don’t look inside and shift what isn’t aligned with your truth, your integrity your personal values, than who will it be? Who will do it for you?

What will it look like to be true to yourself? what does this even mean?

Are you willing to change – and focus on your inner world to change your outer world?

As Gandhi so well put, “Be the change you want to see in the world”.

We are evolving and growing all the time.

The human race is at a paradigm shift right now in our evolution. It is really up to each one of us to make the choice to change the rules so they align with our own truth… where we create the internal stamina to see things through to the end with peace and sled-liberation and love for ourselves and each other.

How do we deal with the violence and injustice of the world?

We turn inward and learn how to respond with compassion and love, verses judgment and fear by practicing self compassion and love.

Is it possible to respect all sides… the ones fighting against each other. What are people really fighting for? to get their way? What doesn’t make any sense is that they are really fighting themselves… when we all get this… then we will learn to respect each other more… because we will learn to respect ourselves by turning inward and resolving the conflicts inside to effect the outside world.

What power do you listen to? is it inside or outside of you? By making time feed your inner world your outer world becomes richer and more fulfilling.

Dear Hearts, to enrich your inner life…. start meditating and sitting quietly for 30 minutes every day. Let go of anything you don’t need any more… breathe deeply and allow your exhale to take all the things you don’t want any more with it… just let go and start to forgive those around you for any harm they have done.

To become more congruent with your inner life, make a list of all the things you know you need to do and haven’t done that is aligned with what you know intuitively, but you keep putting it off. Find out what is holding you back from doing these things…..get support…. set goals and deadlines for yourself or find an accountability friend to motivate you and hold you accountable to finish what you start.

Ask yourself – How can I become more empathetic to the needs of the people and the world? What can I do TODAY to support me feeling empowered on how I live my life that is authentic and grounded? It may just be how to manage your thoughts better and be more present to those around you with an open heart.

I take a stand for Peace, Harmony and Compassion… where we can learned to feel balanced in our inner life and thus have a balanced outer life. Seek to understand others first.. and this brings a deeper connection and rapport to one another.. where we can become more authentic with one another.

I am here with you to serve you and guide you through this crisis that we are in right now… to remember the importance of the inner life when things get overwhelmed is of great importance to our survival.

You can contact me at relationshipnavigator@gmail.com with any questions or visit my website at www.lovingconsciousrelationships.com

Thanks and blessing to you and your wellbeing.

And remember, make time for fun with yourself!

Lucia Nicola Evans

Holding Back?

Holding Back?

Posted on January 10, 2016 by luciaevans

Who is actually benefiting if you hold back. We all do it… why? Because most of us are afraid of being judged or feeling uncomfortable. There is such a strong emphasis in our society to be perfect…whatever that means. I have found myself caught in this trap… and yes, it is a trap that is only trapping my brilliance in. Now tell me if holding back is really helpful to you…. I know that it is not helpful to me. If I keep myself from really letting out my light fully and I prevent myself sharing my gifts to their full capacity who is actually benefiting? I find myself protecting myself from all the things I really want when I hold back. So it is a backwards strategy really. Why would I want to do that? You see, by holding back, everyone looses. Because I am not setting an example of what is possible and sharing who I am fully, no one really gets to feel the alternative.

The Alternative?

To Live FULL OUT! What does this even look like? Well, I can say from experience that it is uncomfortable and yet so very rewarding to live full out. Feeling uncomfortable is a sure sign you are not holding back. Being transparent, honest and vulnerable with your feelings is very important. Acting and living inspite of fear. Now if we just focused on being present with our feelings and sharing them in a heartfelt way, direct and honest… wow…. this would be one big step in living full out. This way of living requires a commitment to being honest with ourselves.

Most of us are terrified of any confrontation. Now…. when our words are connected to our heart… and we slow down our speech, there seems to be an easier way to receive what is being said. So, instead of the words coming out in a confrontational way, they come out in a loving way that actually deepens our experience of intimacy and connection with ourselves and each other.

I have recently met someone who I have felt so very grateful to receive his deep support and care. I have been challenged with how much I feel comfortable receiving. It is a very humbling experience to consistently receive without thinking that I should give something back. By humbly receiving with love and grace, I am giving back. It may not feel this way to many of you, yet there is an energy transference that happens when we can receive with love and allow a person to share their contrition of support or love. It may be in the form of a gift, or making a dinner or just helping a friend move, or being present to understand another’s experience.  It is often the simple gestures that are the most powerful.

I know what I love to offer and long to receive is undivided attention. So to be with someone with 100% presence takes courage and willingness to just be. We have become masters at distracting ourselves, fixing problems and giving advice. How many people do you know who choose to be present with you and really make time to listen to you to understand you? One of my favorite lines in the Francis Prayer is “Seek to Understand rather than be understood”.

The more we understand each other, the more connected with feel and the more relaxed we become and the more fulfilled our relationships are. So… Practice understanding others before seeking to be understood and just notice what happened. Let people know that you are there to support them. Ask… What is it that you need support with right now? I am here for you. and let them do the talking.

Not holding back is about allowing yourself to just BE with what arises and not fill the moment up with distractions. Allow yourself to feel the feelings as they arise and just notice what happens. Allow your breath to guide you and commit to being really present – all of you..  with your body, mind and spirit. This is a true practice of integrity to your authentic self. Let go of the facade and the pretense… it is time to get REAL! I dare to your play and live full out!

Become curious about what you might need to shift in your life in order to create space to live full out. What do you need to let go of so there is more space in your life to live with authenticity and integrity.

With love and blessings to you,

Lucia Nicola

Sex: Surrendering Into Pleasure

Sex: Surrendering Into Pleasure

Posted on February 14, 2016 by luciaevans

Sex is a hot topic for most of us, it is for me. I am a very passionate person. I love sex. I love making love even more. I love feeling close, skin on skin, and being intimate with someone I am attracted to, where we can share pleasure and be sensual together. Not too long ago, I felt ashamed for having such intense feelings of sexual desire. I denied myself my own pleasure as a woman for fear of losing control and being too much, too wild. I thought if I was too much, I may not get the love and attention I so longed for. I didn’t know how to talk about sex and was embarrassed to share my fantasies.

I didn’t really know how to let go of being in charge…

I was scared of the power my sexuality seemed to have over me. It seemed like a power, bigger than me would just take over. I didn’t know how to manage my sexual energy. I so longed to feel pleasure with my partner and be “taken” by him. Yet, I didn’t really know how to let go of being in charge, so I could give him the opportunity to truly make love to me.

It scared me to relinquish control. I didn’t think my partner would be able to hold a strong enough space for me. I had fears of him judging me and abandoning me for being too wild.

How did I go from relinquishing control to surrendering into pleasure you might be asking?

I found a man who was willing to play with me and be present with me, someone who I had really great sexual chemistry with. We were totally honest about our fantasies, our needs and our desires. We made time to touch each other and look into each other’s eyes with undivided attention.

The most important part of surrendering into pleasure for me was creating a solid place of trust. Setting mutual agreements that felt honoring for both of us was key to creating trust. The more quality time I spent with my partner, the more I felt safe to surrender into pleasure.

The more I felt safe to relax, the more pleasure I was able to feel.

As I surrendered into pleasure little by little, I deepened my trust with my partner. The more I felt safe to relax, the more pleasure I was able to feel. We synchronized our energies with cuddling and slow erotic massages. Sometimes fears would come up, I mentioned to my partner that anytime I needed to have an emotional release, all he needed to do was BE with me in the feeling. There was no need for words, just for him to hold a solid, loving space for me to move through my tears.The more I gave myself permission to feel my feelings, the more space there was for me to give and receive pleasure. We fed on each others pleasure, pleasuring each other for hours.

Now, I feel I have a deeper and more loving relationship, not just with my partner, but most importantly, with myself.

I love being a woman now. I embrace my sexuality and my femininity and love getting all juiced up for my partner. I feel so grateful that I had and continue to have the courage and willingness to feel my feelings. Now, I feel I have a deeper and more loving relationship, not just with my partner, but most importantly, with myself. I am my own lover and best friend and have found a partner to share this with, where we pleasure each other beyond just intercourse. We pleasure each other with a glance or a touch. I wish this quality of connection and intimacy for everyone. It is truly divine to share pleasure in this way.

Returning To Balance

Posted on June 27, 2016 by luciaevans

Returning to Balance – Our Health Depends On It.

There is much to be said about balance. To be healthy we need to be in balance with our true nature –  the yin which represents the more feminine aspect and the yang, which represents the more male aspect of ourselves. Balancing receiving and giving love is vital. Nurturing yourself and giving to others from your heart, while implementing what needs to get done in order to live sustainably is important to how you relate in the world. Your health depends on how you listen to yourself. Your true nature responds well when you are making choices that align with what feels good to you while challenging yourself to keep growing and learning.

Life presents many challenges and opportunities…. it is up to us to learn how to create balance in our busy lives so we don’t get burned out or get diagnosed with a disease.

Balance is the key to good health and happiness. There are many components we need to learn to balance in order to keep ourselves healthy and happy. What balance ultimately comes down to is a series of conscious choices that align with what is important to us. By looking at our values we get to see where we put our attention and energy. Making time to stay centered, grounded and receptive to life and others is vital to sustain balance and harmony. When we each take responsibility for our own energy by consciously choosing how we respond with our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, we have the power to shift our reality as we know it.

Journal about the following questions to learn more about yourself in relationship to returning to balance: What brings you joy and happiness? When are you most relaxed? When are you most able to be yourself? What makes you stressed?Who do you like to be with? Do you prefer to be alone? What friends do you like to ? What environments feed you? Do you like the city or the country? There are so many choices it is almost overwhelming.

As I have grown older, I am noticing the importance of spending quality time with the people I care about. This brings me so much joy and fulfillment. Quality time for me is being present – not answering my phone when I am with friends or taking a walk and leaving my phone in my car. Just within a romantic relationship, there is so much to balance. For example, I need to think about creating time alone to make time for self care, time with friends, time with family, play time, work time,  and relaxation time.

I am a strong advocate of quality time. There is no amount of money that can buy quality time. By quality time, I mean the quality of attention we bring to how we relate with ourselves and each other. When someone gives me their undivided attention, I feel like I matter to them and that they really care about me.

We are so easily distracted these days. It is a discipline and gift to have an uninterrupted conversation. I am always taking deep breaths throughout my day in order to return to my center so I can respond to what live presents me. We are not defined by our circumstance. We are defined by how we respond or react to our circumstances.

What would returning to balance look like for you? What do you need in order to slow down and enjoy life more? Maybe it is creating more structure. Maybe it is creating less structure and going more with the flow, becoming more spontaneous and playful. Maybe it is learning how to let go of control and being right so you can be happy. Maybe returning to balance is a discovery in itself for you. Let yourself explore here.

Are you paying any attention to your heart and how you are feeling? What about your inside world?

Do you take anytime to breath or to meditate in your day? Are you allowing time to decompress from the daily stresses in the world,  from work and maybe even the people around you?

What are you thinking about? What is your attention on during your day? Write a list where your attention goes. What is your intuition telling you? Are you taking action according to what your intuition is telling you? Are you letting those around you know how much they matter to you? Are you acknowledging yourself for all that you have done? It is so easy to forget to acknowledge ourselves. There is always something to do.

Take a few minutes and write down what you need to do or shift in order for you to return to balance in your life.

You might find just by reading this post, something will click and you will be inspired to make time for something you have been putting off or connect with someone you haven’t seen or spent quality time with for awhile.

I hope you have found this post helpful.

With love as always,  Lucia Nicola